Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you.
A rich environment where ideas are cultivated and a life long quest for learning takes root; the "Farm" and I are meant for each other. Stanford engages an ethically diverse crop of students that embraces community and global service. My belief in social justice, intellectual curiosity, ethical leadership, creative problem solving at a community and global level are in concert with the pillars of a Stanford education. I look forward to the long library nights working with study groups, and interfacing with professors and distinguished faculty members. My professional aspiration is to contribute to the design of sustainable environmental strategies within developing countries, Peru specifically. The Wood's Institute for the Environment will provide me with the tools needed to put my passion into action. The interdisciplinary focus on public policy in relation to developing countries is a unique feature of the Institution that will augment my knowledge base. An extensive list of study and research abroad opportunities capped the list of characteristics I am seeking in a university experience. The beauty of the palm tree laden campus and the balmy tepid weather is appealing to this web foot Pacific Northwest resident. Exploring the glorious Sierra's, backpacking, a dinner of sushi in San Francisco, and finally learning to surf is the potpourri of lifestyle opportunities the surrounding community provides. I want my university experience to be academically unparalleled, filled with opportunities on a global scale, and amidst a group of diverse motivated students who are excited to learn from each other. I know I will find this and much more at the Farm.
A rich environment wherein which ideas are cultivated and a life long quest for learning takes root; the "Farm" and I are meant for each other.
^I highlighted a part of your sentence in bold. That part is grammatically unclear, and therefore, understanding what you are trying to say is an issue.
Stanford engages an ethically diverse crop of students that embraces community and global service.
^Exemplify how these diverse ethnic groups of students have participated in community and global service, so that it does not seem as if you are just making a general statement to flatter the Admissions Committee. By being more specific, it looks like as if you are interested in Stanford.
My belief in social justice, intellectual curiosity, ethical leadership, creative problem solving at a community and global level are in concert with the pillars of a Stanford education.
^The grammar fades off after ethical leadership. This, in my opinion, sounds as if you are sucking up to Stanford to be quite frank. Perhaps, you should demonstrate these qualities and prove your belief in them, rather than just stating that you do, especially as these qualities are sooo subjective to perception and understanding of what these terms mean. (Social justice and intellectual curiosity can mean different things to different people.)
I look forward to the long library nights working with study groups, and interfacing with professors and distinguished faculty members.
^Why would you look forward to this? Develop your points. You do not seem to do enough of that.
My professional aspiration is to contribute to the design of sustainable environmental strategies within developing countries, Peru specifically.
^Why Peru specifically?
The Wood's Institute for the Environment will provide me with the tools needed to put my passion into action. The interdisciplinary focus on public policy in relation to developing countries is a unique feature of the Institution that will augment my knowledge base. An extensive list of study and research abroad opportunities capped the list of characteristics I am seeking in a university experience.
^An extensive list of study?
The beauty of the palm tree laden campus and the balmy tepid weather is appealing to this web foot Pacific Northwest resident.
^This is, in my opinion, your most powerful sentence so far.
Exploring the glorious Sierra's, backpacking, a dinner of sushi in San Francisco, and finally learning to surf is the potpourri of lifestyle opportunities the surrounding community provides. I want my university experience to be academically unparalleled, filled with opportunities on a global scale, and amidst a group of diverse motivated students who are excited to learn from each other. I know I will find this and much more at the Farm.
^Opportunities on a global scale? Such as what, learning to surf and eating sushi?
What is much more?
*From what I can see, your essay tends to be very unclear as to the type of person you present yourself as. It left me asking a lot of questions about who you are, and what you want to do. This is not necessarily good. It kind of implies that you have not been able to sell yourself well.
Seems like you tell more of how amazing you perceive Stanford to be, as where you should "sell" yourself more instead if you know what I mean. Don't beautify the school, elaborate more on yourself. How will you contribute to the school, what makes your uniqueness a fit for the school?---Just suggestions
