can you check my sop? ...I need help to correct grammar, structure...
I write with great interest in applying for the position of the 2009 fall semester student exchange program. I strongly believe that a prestigious art school, * Institute, will provide me with an exciting opportunity as well as more than credible experience in the design field
After I entered *University of Arts in 2007, I traveled in Europe on the first summer vacation. I enjoyed the feast of arts at the Venice Biennale in Italy, one of the biggest art festivals, and Kassel Documenta in Germany. Also, I experienced the foreign cultures and meet diverse people during the travel. The tremendous cultural and language barrier among the nations, which I had not sensed in my country, was very impressive to me. My first travel in Europe has become the biggest 'Turning point' in my life.
After I returned to home, I made a 'specific' plan to broaden my view toward the world. I also wanted to improve the sense of arts and the understanding of cultures as a competitive designer. I feel that the program is definitely needed at this stage of my study. Thus, I chose * Institute where I want to study for the following reasons.
First, * Institute has the most appropriate curriculums to study my major, Communication Design.
Design covers a wide scope. As 'Communication Design' is concerned with the relation between people and cultures, it is related to every human activities and life styles. I have to experience many things in this world, and many design parts.
* Institute is the most promising design school presenting New York. I heard that * Institute does not hesitate to introduce and develop curriculums well-matched with the fast changing trend. Above all, very specific and intensive curriculums of communication design fascinate me. My school has a few classes because the number of students is so small. On the other hand, in * Institute I will study deeply in design by taking classes in department of communication design such as advertising, typography and publication. After finishing this program, I would be more confident and have a desire and affection towards my major.
Another important reason why I want to study in * Institute is the school's cultural environment.
New York is the important international center for all kinds of arts. It is enthusiastic and creative city. Firstly, * Institute is in Brooklyn nearby Manhattan, the center of New York. It would be convenient to enjoy the culture of New York. Visiting the Broadway, the home of films and musicals, and Time Square, the symbol of capitalism and multi-national companies, will give experiencing new cultures. Numerous museums such as MOMA and the Metropolitan Museum of Art will inspire me to be creative.
Also, in New York I can meet people from all over the world and experience diverse cultures. Since my country is a unitary state and has a homogeneous race, my curiosity about learning different cultures was getting bigger. I believe I will understand their culture and open to differences that by making foreign friends.
The final reason is to improve fluency in English.
English has already become one of the most important abilities in the global society. By this chance, I want to make my English more fluent, and use it when I work in the design field. At the partner school, I will have chances to give a presentation as well as take English lessens which boost my ability. When I finish this program, I would have a more confidence to communicate in English than now. Also, I believe a good command of English will be the new way to express my concept of design in the global design field.
With Student Exchange program I am looking forward on gaining experience in life and design. Within * Institute I can learn from the best professionals in a city with rich cultural diversity. I believe it would help me develop my skills and design language, thus improving my knowledge and intellectual practice as a graphic designer. * Institute would help me pursue my career goals.
If you want to be born in this world, you strive to be the best. I think it'll be the first step to break out of this small world and go out into a bigger world. I'll work hard not only to be a good designer, but also to be a world famous designer representing my country.
Thank you
Also, I experienced the foreign cultures and met diverse people during the travel.
Oh, I see that Anna corrected that already! Here are some other ideas:
I also wanted to improve my sense of arts and the understanding of cultures...
...my curiosity about learning different cultures was getting growing .
If I want to be born in a bigger world, I have to strive to be the best.
I think your English is almost perfect already!
