'She did not stop me then' / 'Harry Potter' - Uchicago extended essays

Hi! I wrote two essays for the UChicago Extended Essay.
Which essay would you recommend I use and can you give me some corrections? thanks!

Essay Option 1

How did you get caught? (Or not caught, as the case may be.)
I grabbed the Times Kids magazine and slid it stealthy next to my thigh. Mrs. Farmer, my second grade teacher, was in the middle of a reading group, thus probably too distracted to notice the magazine. Walking up to Mrs. Farmer, I asked if I could go to the bathroom, while carefully concealing the magazine from her eyesight. The magazines were shared among all second grade classes, so it was against the rules to take one home. I ran to my cubby and stuffed the magazine in my pink Barbie backpack. On the front page was a picture of Pikachu, and my older brother adored Pokemon, so I just had to give it to him! When I got home, I elatedly handed the magazine over to my brother, who just glanced, uninterested and sighing, "Oh, I already read it in school today". Angry at myself, expecting great praise, I threw the magazine into the back of my closet, pushing it out of my mind.

A couple of week later at school, Mrs. Farmer approached me, "Do you still have the Times Magazine, Brenda?"
My heart stopped. Oh God, what do I do?
"What?" Play dumb, yes. Good idea, Brenda!
"The one you took when you went to the bathroom in the middle of the reading group.." She said impatiently
She saw me? I could have sworn I passed by unnoticed. Why did she not stop me then?
"Um.. I don't know" I replied uncertainly as I skittered away.
I will never forget that day and the horror of actually getting caught. I was so sure I had passed unnoticed. However, the trepidation from the lesson I learned overshadows the fear I felt then. I was consumed in my own world and thoughts, I completely forgot about everything else. As a child, everything revolves around you. Yet what I had experienced was completely different from what my teacher experienced that day I took the magazine. I can only know what I am doing; I will never be sure of what someone else is seeing, thinking or doing. Knowing this is what frightens me. The world is an intricate intertwining of lives and unique experiences. As a child, I was caught, because I did not know this. Yet, knowing this does not guarantee I will never be caught, rather I will just be more prepared.

Now, I know how complex one event can be. Mrs. Farmer's retelling of that day is probably vastly different from my retelling of that day. In fact, she may not even remember that day, while I can still replay it clearly in my head. Recognizing these complications will only help me in the future.

Essay Option 2

The late-eighteenth-century popular philosopher and cultural critic George Lichtenberg wrote, "Just as we outgrow a pair of trousers, we outgrow acquaintances, libraries, principles, etc. at times before they're worn out and at times-and this is worst of all-before we have new ones." Write an essay about something you have outgrown, perhaps before you had a replacement-a friend, a political philosophy, a favorite author, or anything that has had an influence on you. What, if anything, has taken its place?

When Harry Potter first came out, I thought it was a waste of time and fabulously dull. How was I ever going to read that many pages! Yet, the summer after fourth grade, bored out of my mind, I stumbled upon my brothers battered Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone and began the long journey of Hogwarts, Dumbledore and Lord Voldemort. I fell in love. By then, the first four books were already out so I spent my entire summer reading and re-reading them. When the movies started coming out, I always bought the DVDs, despite their inferiority to the books. I loved everything related to Harry Potter, because of the fact it was concerning Harry Potter. My friends and I would watch pre-released scenes online, memorizing each word and laughing at the goofy English accents. Casting spells on each other with wooden sticks, we raced by each other on our scooters that we pretended were broomsticks. Then, at my birthdays, while blowing out the candles, I wished for the letter from Hogwarts inviting me to attend because I was actually in fact a witch. I counted down the days to the release of the next book, always reading them the day of. For the fifth and sixth books, we had to buy two copies, because both my brother and I just had to read it on the first day. Yet, for the seventh and final book, I found myself locked in my room reading the one and only copy. My brother lost interest in something I could never imagine forgetting.

Through high school, I still enjoyed Harry Potter, always watching the films. I stopped re-reading the books, but I knew I would remain a huge fan. Yet, this summer, with the release of the sixth film, when the movie ended, I was shocked. Not because of the unanticipated ending, but because I did not even anticipate it. I could not believe that I had forgotten the plot. Somehow, throughout the years, the excited conversations of the newly released Harry Potter trailer were replaced with topics about life, daily events, and school. I could not believe it; I out grew Harry Potter.

This space that Harry Potter took in my life was uniquely carved for Harry Potter. So, the void that was left has not been replaced. Instead, I grew with it, and along with this growth, came a loss of innocence. Harry Potter became a part of my past, while I grew and embraced reality. I no longer dream of a letter from Hogwarts; I tell myself it is preposterous. I admit, it is depressing, losing something you were so infatuated with. Yet, I am able to grow, without my head clouded with spells and potions. Throughout the years, I have found many new passions, hobbies and interests. However, the blinded adoration, like the one for Harry Potter, will not be restored. Older and more mature, when I love something, it is because I actually love it, and not because of its association with an obsession that I glorified. Outgrowing Harry Potter is bittersweet, but provides an eye-opening lesson that I am glad I experienced.

Thanks in advance!

Could we have a third option?

Your first option I would definitely not recommend. It shows a disturbing lack of moral growth, as the prime lesson you say you learned from the incident is that you might get caught when doing wrong, and so should be more careful when doing wrong. This is not at all what you want to say to the admissions people, who would be much happier going with an applicant that wishes to avoid doing wrong altogether, or that is at least swift enough to pretend that that is the case.

The second option is okay, I guess. The essay tells me that you like to read for fun, and are mature enough to have outgrown a childish fad, both of which reflect well on you. It's just that the topic seems a bit . . . frivolous, given the other things you might have gone with.

Your first essay is not interesting. It is a 'fabulously dull' topic, and your writing style does no justice to it in my honest opinion. There is nothing particularly gripping about that essay. The ending is rather banal as well.

Overall, I would not recommend the first option.


^With a large font, that book was like only, 300 pages.


^...Very unclear shift in time here. You suddenly go from the first book, to the fourth, even though with the former, you did not want to read it, and with the latter, you have suddenly read all four books...

Your second essay is pretty boring. I guess it because from the first line, readers know that you are going to discuss how you have outgrown Harry Potter.

^I don't believe that Harry Potter can be outgrown.

What is even more disturbing about your first essay is that it happened when you were in second grade. This means that you have had around nine years of practice in the art of hiding your misdeeds.

I think its more a case of Harry Potter fatigue. I've read all of the books, and seen all but the latest movie, but I just couldn't muster the interest to go see the newest one. It's been going on too long, now. Also, while the books were interesting enough, I never thought they were so well-written as to deserve the ridiculous level of attention they got. It was nice to see so many kids discovering the pleasures of reading, but still, anything that over-hyped inevitably ends up being shelved at some point. Think about movies like Titanic. When that came out, people were raving about it, some going to see it over 14 times while it was still in theaters (many of whom will now deny ever having liked the film). But even many of those who admit to liking it back then don't really want to watch it again, ever. Same sort of thing with the Lord of the Rings movies, for that matter. I loved them, still own all of the extended editions, but I can't bring myself to actually commit the time needed to watch them again.

Lol yeah. I didn't really mean it seriously. Harry Potter will always be a good bedtime read for me though :P