Hi. so I made this essay for my entrance exam, please correct my grammar and tell me what you think about my essay. please do not be afraid to become harsh. I really need constructive criticism. :)
Stretching Boundaries
"Above all, challenge yourself. You may well surprise yourself at what strengths you have, what you can accomplish."
- Cecile Springer
Being the younger one between me and my brother, I am reserved, the introvert. As a kid, all I did was dwell inside our house, play with my toys and amuse myself in my own make-believe world. I never went outside the four walls of our house; on no account did I fell and skinned my knees. I was never exposed to the harsh side of life, and all I saw were rainbows and butterflies. My parents are very protective of me. They would lecture me, but never was I physically reprimanded. But still, I was afraid of getting scolded for doing wrong. I was always careful of my actions, fearful of getting hurt.
Everything was the same at school. I did not belong to a large clique. I was never part of a club. Worse, I did not participate in class for the fear of getting laughed at. I was not like any other kid. I was like a child who was fully set up with a raincoat and an umbrella on a scorching summer day. Always was I shy and silent; the kid who never started conversations, not wanting to meet the eyes of another. My silence is my self-defense.
This only means that the word trust was not easy to spot in my dictionary. It is hard for me to trust other people; hard, because even I do not trust myself. It is hard for me to believe in myself. It is difficult for me to believe that I am capable of doing remarkable things. That doing what you love to do makes you feel important, that being yourself makes you unique. But the sad truth is that I do not think that way. I dread rejection. Worried about what others might think about me. I am afraid of not reaching their expectations, lacking confidence to reach what I aim for. I am afraid of failure. I fear a lot of things.
Things changed when I tried auditioning for the female lead role at our school Play fest. A friend urged me to, because she said that she saw possibilities. This experience was not exceptional but still it has managed to influence me in many ways I cannot define. It made me understand that there is no harm in trying. I got the part that I was hoping for.
The character has taught me a lot of things about life. We are different yet similar; similar because she cares for the ones she love. We are different in a way that she has a strong personality, one that was not afraid to dream. But still I saw myself in her. One thing I appreciated about this character was that she participated in a charity. Her story inspired me. Although I the best actress award wasn't given to me, the lessons I got from this experience was a lot more meaningful than the title. Now, I appreciate the things that I can do. And I discovered that only by taking risks and doing ludicrous things can I achieve the impossible.
I discovered too, that I have the ability to empathize and that I have this earnest desire to help people, to lend a hand for those who are in need. The character I portrayed helped awaken this ambition. I finally started to believe in myself.
could you suggest an ending? i still don't have one.
thanks much!
Stretching Boundaries
"Above all, challenge yourself. You may well surprise yourself at what strengths you have, what you can accomplish."
- Cecile Springer
Being the younger one between me and my brother, I am reserved, the introvert. As a kid, all I did was dwell inside our house, play with my toys and amuse myself in my own make-believe world. I never went outside the four walls of our house; on no account did I fell and skinned my knees. I was never exposed to the harsh side of life, and all I saw were rainbows and butterflies. My parents are very protective of me. They would lecture me, but never was I physically reprimanded. But still, I was afraid of getting scolded for doing wrong. I was always careful of my actions, fearful of getting hurt.
Everything was the same at school. I did not belong to a large clique. I was never part of a club. Worse, I did not participate in class for the fear of getting laughed at. I was not like any other kid. I was like a child who was fully set up with a raincoat and an umbrella on a scorching summer day. Always was I shy and silent; the kid who never started conversations, not wanting to meet the eyes of another. My silence is my self-defense.
This only means that the word trust was not easy to spot in my dictionary. It is hard for me to trust other people; hard, because even I do not trust myself. It is hard for me to believe in myself. It is difficult for me to believe that I am capable of doing remarkable things. That doing what you love to do makes you feel important, that being yourself makes you unique. But the sad truth is that I do not think that way. I dread rejection. Worried about what others might think about me. I am afraid of not reaching their expectations, lacking confidence to reach what I aim for. I am afraid of failure. I fear a lot of things.
Things changed when I tried auditioning for the female lead role at our school Play fest. A friend urged me to, because she said that she saw possibilities. This experience was not exceptional but still it has managed to influence me in many ways I cannot define. It made me understand that there is no harm in trying. I got the part that I was hoping for.
The character has taught me a lot of things about life. We are different yet similar; similar because she cares for the ones she love. We are different in a way that she has a strong personality, one that was not afraid to dream. But still I saw myself in her. One thing I appreciated about this character was that she participated in a charity. Her story inspired me. Although I the best actress award wasn't given to me, the lessons I got from this experience was a lot more meaningful than the title. Now, I appreciate the things that I can do. And I discovered that only by taking risks and doing ludicrous things can I achieve the impossible.
I discovered too, that I have the ability to empathize and that I have this earnest desire to help people, to lend a hand for those who are in need. The character I portrayed helped awaken this ambition. I finally started to believe in myself.
could you suggest an ending? i still don't have one.
thanks much!