"a student suitable for a large university" - BU supplement. Too offensive?

Given what you know about Boston University, what do you hope to accomplish as an undergraduate here? Please respond in an essay of no more than 500 words.

My sister said it was too offensive, and I'm willing to re-write.
But honestly, I sort of like it.

My first year at Boston University, I want to accomplish the horror of gaining the famous freshman 15.
My second year at Boston University, I hope to accomplish the satisfaction of laughing at how young the freshman look during matriculation.
My third year at Boston University, I would like to accomplish pulling an all-nighter and then failing my exam the next day.
My final year at Boston University I need to accomplish the necessity to be hypnotized by an R-rated hypnotist, Frank Santos.
Just kidding.
I've always viewed myself as a student suitable for a large university, striving to meet as many great minds as I can. Boston gives me the impression of a well-balanced city, incorporated with the benefits of a big city, and the enhanced components of a university town. Recalling my friend's sister telling me about Boston University, she mentioned that Boston University is Boston's University. At one of the largest private universities in the United States, I can only imagine the number of striking individuals I would be able to associate myself with. Many teachers at school call me a "social butterfly", and I can only hope to achieve such a nickname in university.

With more than 500 student organizations to enjoy, I'm sure many cater to my interests. As I enjoy being involved in student council and providing the student body with entertainment, I would like to become a part of the CAS student government at BU. To write love on her arms, an organization I support with all my heart appears in a similar form with the "Hug don't hate" movement. If possible, I would hug every single person at BU, no joke. Furthermore, my love for being dynamic and diverse will only broaden at the prospect of the 75 study abroad programs provided by Boston University.

Not only do I plan to be involved with extracurriculars, I would like to strive academically. Although the academic competition is extreme, I hope to graduate with honors at the School of Management, and be an asset to my class. Let's just reach for the stars and say that I would like to eliminate procrastination with studying.

In addition, after moving from Canada to Portland where the Ducks and Beavers (college football)are ubiquitous, I have never missed the sport of hockey more. I always used to see hockey as violent, gory, and dangerous. Then, I came to Oregon; to watch guys tackle each other over an oval ball over and over again, asked if I wanted to buy a cup of Coor's Light for $ 15, and fall asleep during the University of Oregon and Oregon State University civil war. On the other hand, Hockey never fails to entertain me, and as the most popular sport at Boston University, I want to be the one at the front row, screaming at the top of my lungs at the 6th national championship, "GO BU!"

Honestly I agree with your sister because this come accross to me as less serious and more of a joke. In my opinion I think your trying to hard when it comes to wanting to win over the readers. Simply just keep this essay on one focus and write about one important goal you have that you wish to accomplish. And explain more as to why you want to accomplish that goal at Boston University. There's a reason why the question ask Given what you know about Boston University, what do you hope to accomplish as an undergraduate here ? not what are the things you hope to accomplish....

Your essay is fine, save the beginning.
Your intro (what you hope to accomplish in each of your years at BU) is simply detrimental to your essay. Its not serious but it fails to be a real joke that would endear you to the admissions committee. I know its not what you were hoping to hear but cut that part of your essay and make another hook.

I do agree that the beginning seems a bit too reckless, however, I think that the idea is nice formatting-wise. You can use your same hook but just use sentences that adcoms would be proud to read. I guess you'd also have to cut out the just kidding. I just really like the style of the hook.

Many teachers at school call me a "social butterfly", and I can only hope to achieve such a nickname in university . This is a bit awkward. I can only hope to achieve such a nickname in college as well. Perhaps you might want to change achieve to earn. Also you need a better transition after this paragraph.

If possible, I would hug every single person at BU, no joke . I'm not sure if this is the term for it, but this is slang. Don't use it in your essay, which seems to be more formal regarding the previous paragraph (for example, you use "furthermore" in your next sentence).