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"The team wouldn't be the same without you" - Being a part of a team! ; Common App



scroan 2 / 3  
Sep 29, 2013   #1
There I was, standing outside of the gym door, with my arm in a sling, frozen with indecision. Kate, my lacrosse teammate, was trying to convince me to come to tryouts. "Come on, it will be fun!" she said. "The team wouldn't be the same without you, you'll still be a part of varsity even if you can't play."

"Yeah, but standing alone on the sidelines watching everyone else play would just be agonizing," replied my other friend Eileen. "Why are you here? Don't you wish you could be at home right now? Coach would understand if you didn't come this season" she added.

She had a point, but I had gone to intramurals twice a week all winter.
"I'm going anyway." I said. I walked through the door, knowing if I waited any longer I would change my mind yet again. I had made a commitment to the team before I fractured my shoulder. Deep down, I wanted to be there--to keep that commitment; I couldn't give up on my team before season even started.

I came to every practice and every game for the whole season.
To keep busy during practice, I taught the new freshman how to throw and catch, awkwardly using my one good arm to demonstrate for them. Two of them had never held a stick before, so I worked with them for days, explaining drills, the different positions, encouraging them to practice at home, and not to give up. I started to bring my lacrosse bag every day. It wasn't filled with cleats and a uniform; instead it had two coats, numerous hats and gloves, and my heavy winter boots. Eileen was right--watching the games from the sidelines in the freezing cold was miserable. However, instead of regretting my decision, I learned to record statistics for the team. I followed my coach as she yelled: "Ground Ball Maggie, Save Maddy, Forced turnover Shannon." I improvised a way to hold the clipboard in the rain and still write with my one arm. As the season progressed, I was cheering not only for goals, but after great plays or passes.

As my shoulder got better, so did our team. Even so, this hurt; our team was the best it had been in years, and I wasn't out there with them scoring goals. So I focused on how much fun I had helping the girls become a cohesive team. I still felt included and important even though I couldn't be a part of the game. My favorite moments of the season were when I saw my hard work materialize out on the field, and I would recognize one of the players doing a move that I had taught them. Instead of everyone trying her individual best to score and defend, each girl learned to pay attention to where her teammates were on the field and make decisions that would help the team overall, as I encouraged them to do at practice.

Before last year's season I had been at the center of the lacrosse team. I would come home and say, "I played great." Because of my experiences off the field I now say, "We played great." My injury didn't sideline me; rather, not playing made me a much better teammate. I was even more proud when we scored a goal, made a good pass, or executed a complicated play than I would have been if I had been on the field; I could now see the entire team instead of just myself. Coaching on the sidelines taught me that in lacrosse and life, there are many roles to play, and there is more to my actions than what I individually accomplish. Being a part of a team--literally or metaphorically, as I now see it--is about how I am influenced by others and, in return, how I influence them.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Sep 30, 2013   #2
Coach would understand if you didn't come this season" she added.

Coach would understand your being absent for this season, she added.

I came to every practice and every game for the whole season.

I attended every practice session and participated in every game throughout the whole season.

To keep busy during practice, I taught the new freshman how to throw and catch, awkwardly using my one good arm to demonstrate for them.

To keep busy during practice sessions, I began to teach freshman the techniques of throwing and catching the ball, demonstrating them with the only arm I could move freely.
awesome_irl 1 / 2  
Sep 30, 2013   #3
"Ground Ball Maggie."" Save Maddy."" Forced turnover , Shannon." (2nd paragraph)

Before last year's season, I had been at the center of the lacrosse team. (3rd paragraph)

Because of my experiences off the field , I now say "We played great." (3rd paragraph)

I accomplish individually (3rd paragraph)

Your semicolons are used correctly but perhaps it would be better to replace some of them with periods in order to vary your syntax (just a thought)

Good luck!
OP scroan 2 / 3  
Oct 1, 2013   #4
What are some titles i could use??


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