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UC PROMPT #1 I am third generation to live in KENYA...



jyoon11 3 / 9  
Nov 19, 2010   #1
I am the 3rd generation Yoon to have lived in Africa. It first started off with my grandfather in 1993. My grandfather and my aunt's family had moved out to Nairobi, Kenya to start their mission work. They started a Bible college and medical ministries. In 2003 my family moved out to Nairobi, Kenya. My father was to succeed grandfather's work and expand his ministry. To further my education I attended an American International school known as RVA (Rift Valley Academy). Living in various cultures brought a melting pot effect to my world. I am a Korean-American who now lives in the culture of the Kenyan people.

Kenya is a culture I have never experienced before. A culture unlike any other with its unique and dissimilar traits compared to the Korean-American haven I come from. The constant day in and day out exposure has interwoven Kenya into my life. From the congested matatus (public mode of transportation) to the bustling street markets; African culture has been added to my melting pot.

Living in East Africa for the last 7 years, I have witnessed firsthand the destitute people of Kenya. The hiatus and disparity created by corruption and avidity. I live in a society where only the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. I have walked the stench-filled streets of Kibera Slum (the biggest slum in Africa). I have entered some of the most luxurious homes in Kenya. I live in a society in which a man gets stoned to death for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his family. I have witnessed the rich squander away their provisions to their pet dogs. Poverty has splintered the Kenyan people into desperation and suffering.

My world has given me the desire to help and serve the people of Kenya in any way possible. My world has shaped my dreams and is calling me back to Africa. By attending a UC school I know I will succeed in my pursuit in business. Through business I will support and provide aid to the impoverished Kenyan people.

hussamnhn 2 / 5  
Nov 19, 2010   #2
Wow it's very well-written.
My only suggestion is to change the word "It..." in "It first started off with my grandfather in 1993."
sdawn 2 / 15  
Nov 19, 2010   #3
To further my education I attended an American International school known as the Rift Valley Academy.

In fact I don't think you should add the school name at all if it is already in your application.

I live in a society where a man gets stoned to death for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his family.

I really like your essay. Your conclusion is especially inspiring.
OP jyoon11 3 / 9  
Nov 22, 2010   #4
does the content suffice?? do I answer the prompt?


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