Please help me proofread my college admission essay, feedbacks are highly appreciate!!!
What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to? The essay is also your chance to tell us more about your experiences, activities and accomplishments. (No more than 750 words, please.)
Incorrect proportions, bizarre outfits, ridiculous color combinations, and by the time I realized what I drew on that big white paper, it was the end of a three hours drawing contest at my elementary school. The prompt for the contest was: Draw your city in 30 years from now. Even though I got last place in the contest, somewhere in my 5th grade self knew that it was just the first step toward my dream - becoming a fashion designer.
Growing up in a traditional Vietnamese family, I had to set aside what I wanted to do and focus on what others expected me to do. At least that is what I thought up until 8th grade. An opportunity revealed itself when the boy I liked asked me to sketch some designs for his basketball team. At first, I was just doing it to get closer to him but before I knew it, I was constantly drawing days and nights. I ended up with more than twenty sketches as well as many fabric swatches that I found was best for sportswear . The basketball team manager and the principal at my school was so impressed that they picked one of my designs and produced it into many uniform sets that are still being used now. No words could describe the joy that I felt when they said that the little sketch that I did would be make i nto a real life products; they would be worn by many great athletes at school and presented in front of the eyes of many people at the games.
After that, I was in charge of designing the class' T-shirt for the 9th grade graduation camp. The frightening moments of not meeting the deadline and the excitements when the T-shirts came out beautifully and widely loved by my classmates are precious memories that I treasure till today.
Several years later, a big door opened for me when I moved to the United States. Coming here was an extraordinary experience that brought me closer to my dream. At the moment, I still could not gather the courage to ask my parents for their supports to become a fashion designer. Instead, I told them that I wanted to be an architect. They were not happy but still allow me to do it since architecture was well regarded and made decent money in Vietnam. I secretly took some fashion classes online while doing architecture at school to polish my skills. Some of my classmates joked with me saying: "you certainly did not dress like you were going to an architecture class nor your mind ever presently in one." It's true, even when I first came in to the moment I stepped out of class, all I was paying attention was how people around me dressed. I always find myself absorbed in anything fashion related no matter where I am or what is going on around me.
After a year or so studying at San Diego Mesa College and taking a few fashion courses, I decided to challenge myself at the school fashion show. Despite having little time and limited skills, I managed to submit three of my garments for the show. Surrounded by the passionate and talented designers was absolutely inspiring to me. The euphoria of seeing the models wearing your designs, the proud moments when receiving praises from everyone, and the overwhelming joy when the organization committees pronounced that I had won the second prize of a category in the Golden Scissor Fashion Show were the highlights of my days in the fashion program at Mesa. Success leads to success; I became the winner of the Mesa Fashion Design program scholarship later in the/that semester.
Gaining these achievements indeed boost my confidence to talk to my parents about pursuing my dream. It could be because of the awards that I received that somewhat secure my ability , or because of how persistent and commit ted I was throughout the years, my parents decided to support me wholeheartedly in the end.
Working in retail also helped me build my experiences as well as connections. I worked part- time as a visual merchandiser at FashionQ in Fashion Valley Mall for a year and that rewards me with a lot of hands-on experience aside from meeting some of my future customers.
One of my biggest goals for 2017 is to visit Italy. Exploring the fashion capital under professional guidance is not the only thing that Fashion Institute and Technology offers, but also the credibility as well as many opened doors for my future.
What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to? The essay is also your chance to tell us more about your experiences, activities and accomplishments. (No more than 750 words, please.)
Incorrect proportions, bizarre outfits, ridiculous color combinations, and by the time I realized what I drew on that big white paper, it was the end of a three hours drawing contest at my elementary school. The prompt for the contest was: Draw your city in 30 years from now. Even though I got last place in the contest, somewhere in my 5th grade self knew that it was just the first step toward my dream - becoming a fashion designer.
Growing up in a traditional Vietnamese family, I had to set aside what I wanted to do and focus on what others expected me to do. At least that is what I thought up until 8th grade. An opportunity revealed itself when the boy I liked asked me to sketch some designs for his basketball team. At first, I was just doing it to get closer to him but before I knew it, I was constantly drawing days and nights. I ended up with more than twenty sketches as well as many fabric swatches that I found was best for sportswear . The basketball team manager and the principal at my school was so impressed that they picked one of my designs and produced it into many uniform sets that are still being used now. No words could describe the joy that I felt when they said that the little sketch that I did would be make i nto a real life products; they would be worn by many great athletes at school and presented in front of the eyes of many people at the games.
After that, I was in charge of designing the class' T-shirt for the 9th grade graduation camp. The frightening moments of not meeting the deadline and the excitements when the T-shirts came out beautifully and widely loved by my classmates are precious memories that I treasure till today.
Several years later, a big door opened for me when I moved to the United States. Coming here was an extraordinary experience that brought me closer to my dream. At the moment, I still could not gather the courage to ask my parents for their supports to become a fashion designer. Instead, I told them that I wanted to be an architect. They were not happy but still allow me to do it since architecture was well regarded and made decent money in Vietnam. I secretly took some fashion classes online while doing architecture at school to polish my skills. Some of my classmates joked with me saying: "you certainly did not dress like you were going to an architecture class nor your mind ever presently in one." It's true, even when I first came in to the moment I stepped out of class, all I was paying attention was how people around me dressed. I always find myself absorbed in anything fashion related no matter where I am or what is going on around me.
After a year or so studying at San Diego Mesa College and taking a few fashion courses, I decided to challenge myself at the school fashion show. Despite having little time and limited skills, I managed to submit three of my garments for the show. Surrounded by the passionate and talented designers was absolutely inspiring to me. The euphoria of seeing the models wearing your designs, the proud moments when receiving praises from everyone, and the overwhelming joy when the organization committees pronounced that I had won the second prize of a category in the Golden Scissor Fashion Show were the highlights of my days in the fashion program at Mesa. Success leads to success; I became the winner of the Mesa Fashion Design program scholarship later in the/that semester.
Gaining these achievements indeed boost my confidence to talk to my parents about pursuing my dream. It could be because of the awards that I received that somewhat secure my ability , or because of how persistent and commit ted I was throughout the years, my parents decided to support me wholeheartedly in the end.
Working in retail also helped me build my experiences as well as connections. I worked part- time as a visual merchandiser at FashionQ in Fashion Valley Mall for a year and that rewards me with a lot of hands-on experience aside from meeting some of my future customers.
One of my biggest goals for 2017 is to visit Italy. Exploring the fashion capital under professional guidance is not the only thing that Fashion Institute and Technology offers, but also the credibility as well as many opened doors for my future.
Do You Need