'Time spent in towers' Short Answer for the Common APP (UNDERGRAD Arch)

Haven taken an internship that put me well out of my comfort zone benefited me in many ways. Due to being 'hired' as a Site Engineer, I took part in a wide range of roles from learning how to program and manage fire-fighting systems, to actually visit working sites and manually install smoke detectors, command modules, sprinklers and more. Most of my time was spent in towers, which I enjoyed thoroughly. Having an impact in the completion of the towers that I have idolized was an amazing experience, I love being able to look at the skyline and feel like I had a role, no matter how small, in its creation. My colleague's financial and cultural backgrounds could not have been more different than my own. This gave me a better understanding and appreciation of different religions and cultures. Sharing food with, learning from and teaching my new friends made me more accepting of different values, of people whose goals have nothing to do with education, or my definition of success in life.

So please help me out with editing and an idea as to what to add if anything :)

It's a good essay. Good transition of sentences. However, it reads wordy. You may try to keep it more to the point.

Thanks man, appreciate it. Can you give me some examples though of where it gets too wordy?

Having taken...

... an internship that put me well out of my comfort zone, I have benefited in many ways. ----I made some small changes here...

Keep the verb tense the same throughout the sentence, if possible:
...love being able to look at the skyline and feel like I have a role, no matter how small, in its creation.

... or my definition of success in life. ---I want to know what that definition is. Use one more sentence if possible, and express your idea about what would comprise success for you. It's important to dig deep and think about what has been important to you and what is becoming important to you now. Also, be pragmatic and think about your unique talents. Really give the reader something to think about. : )