Track and field; my job; playing hockey - Common APP Question

I'm lost on what to write about. I have some ideas, and I want to know if they're acceptable.

The Common Application question: "In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer)":

1) My first season of track and field experience. It was spring of junior year, and I will continue with winter and spring track this year. I learned a way to cope with stress, and that hard-work does have positive effects. I usually slacked in school and got by with As/Bs. It made me understand that although you may be fine, hard-work helps you go that extra mile to achieve excellence.

2) My job as a page (book shelver) in the public library of my city. The different people I met there helped me get out of my hard-working social group and understand the difficulties people go through on a daily basis. My communication skills developed as well.

3) Playing hockey with a group of friends. Over time the group changed and different people started coming, with 3-4 originals still playing (me being one of them). I basically became accustomed to adapting to different people playing, and playing different positions and being a team player.

What would be my best bet to write on? Are my ideas too cliched?
Thanks in advance for the opinions.

Good evening.

I think that the second situation would be the most appropriate. You can briefly discuss your interactions with others different from yourself, a very valuable asset when you get to a college campus with a melting-pot-student-body. I also think it would best display your abilities to handle unfamiliar situations, another real life skill you can use on campus.

Best of luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Hey, I just wrote an "essay" for my NJIT application. Would someone mind offering their opinions?

"As a resident of New Jersey for almost 9 years, the renowned name "New Jersey Institute of Technology" has been thrown around since my oldest memories of living here. Many people I've known and grown up with have applied here and attended; some actually attend now. Family friends, school friends, people at social and religious gatherings, and even more acknowledge the Institute's opportunities, diverse communities, and an enjoyable environment. In addition, NJIT has been involved in numerous research projects published in newspapers and talked about on television. Teachers have mentioned the school in high regards, making me want to strongly consider and want to apply and attend.

My life revolves around technology, and math and science are my strongest and favorite subjects. I find it to be logical to capitalize on my strengths and talents by applying to a technological school, where I may establish a great foundation for myself while having an enjoyable time. I know the Institute has a Track and Field program, a sport I am very passionate about, and many job/internship opportunities available to its graduates and students. I believe NJIT satisfies my major needs: a track and field program and a fantastic technological(math,science) program.

Furthermore, the diverse community, close-to-home and strategical setting, and experienced staff solidify my decision to apply."

Hi! What's up with the " " quote marks around the whole thing? Let's take those out.

Also, I had se good ideas for you:

As a nine year resident of New Jersey, I have heard the renowned name "New Jersey Institute of Technology" being discussed since my oldest memories of living here. Many people with whom I grew up with have applied here and attended. Family friends, school friends, and people at social and religious gatherings acknowledge the Institute's opportunities, diverse communities, and an enjoyable environment.

...

I believe that NJIT satisfies my major needs: a track and field program and a fantastic technological (math, science) program.

And at the end, for a concluding sentence, let's not have "furthermore." Just write:

The diverse community, close-to-home and strategical setting, and experienced staff solidify my decision to apply to your fine institution.

Thanks Kevin! I used those changes and submitted the application.