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'a tradition rebel in my own little world' - Freshman essay-UC


deathgoest 2 / 3  
Oct 11, 2011   #1
Can anyone help me grammar check this? Any suggestion is appreciated.

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Though my parents and teachers sometimes criticized me for my sharp, unacceptable attitude which reflected my inner maturity and inversion, I never cared much about it, for I thought it was merely a generation gap. Not until I became more self-conscious did I realize I was in fact a distinctive member of a pure Chinese family and a Chinese school, a situation that I was beyond tradition. (REVISE!)

Since my childhood I have been inculcated to 'play safe' so that all the time I have to suffocate the spirit of adventure whenever it flowed in my vessels. Indeed, I was influenced by these traditional concepts. Facing a challenge, I would choose a safer way. Had I kept doing so, I should have followed all my teachers' guidance, devoted myself to schoolwork to got a considerable score to a considerable Chinese university and then become an engineer or officer - as others hoped - however, never is it the life I want to have.

Referring to many books, once I thought deeply why adults, such as some of my teachers and relatives, created certain policy, new or old, fair or unjust, written or spoken, and why we chose to compromise. Eventually I drew a conclusion. The reason was that we were afraid - afraid of precariousness which new things bring so we tend to stay in tradition to keep safe. It can't be denied that some of the traditional creeds are indeed wise and valuable. But the everlasting existence of the stagnant parts did show the psychological banality possessed by most Chinese people. Actually, analyzing people's internal thought, this awareness was the beginning of my interest on psychology.

Since then I realized I had to create my own path for life instead of following the traditional one. Nevertheless, such independence brought me a huge dilemma. Sacrificing my spare time, I put much energy into student government, trying to create more activities for my fellows to participate in. Teachers also impugned my lack of concentration on study because of my holding private concerts in school. Meanwhile, my dream major, psychology, has always been shunned by relatives and teachers as it is too demanding for an international student. More than once I asked myself - was it worth doing so? Have I considered my parents' feelings? The answer temporarily remained unsure. But I believed one day I would confidently say "yes".

There was a book named The Shawshank Redemption which profoundly impressed me. I consider myself as a tradition rebel in my own little world, just like Andy in Shawshank prison. What Andy and I have in common is an innate resistance to be institutionalized. My world, in the end, failed to shape me into a product on an assembly line. However, it successfully endued me with a unique mind, which constantly illuminates me and guides me to a bright future.


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