Hi, this is my first draft of my transfer admissions essay...I am applying for the fall 2011 year. I am looking for honest feedback and how i can improve my essay or if i should just write on another topic....Thanks!
Experiencing life on life's terms, I was able to learn from life's lessons and start to live a life that is worth living. There are a few situations I would like to mention that help me overcome adversity and grow and mature as a young woman that I am today. Being a single mother, being a survivor of domestic violence, being the first person in my family to graduate from college and drugs and alcohol, along with my lack of experience and being unaware about life, caused me to take certain actions that led me to where I am today.
Being the first person in my family to graduate from college was exciting for me. I had a sense of personal accomplishment, until I realized, members of my family didn't care or tried to sway me from progressing in life. My mother, who is in current addiction as a functioning alcoholic, verbally abused me for deciding to complete college. All I ever wanted was for her to accept me, to love me and to support the positive decisions I've chose. I ended up as a result of my distorted thinking, lowering myself to her terms of life by drinking, and partying and trying to fit in her lifestyle. Other close family members would also ask me, "Why are you still in school? You should just get a job." I knew in my heart that I wanted more than just a job. I knew in my heart I can do better, for myself and contribute to the world in some way.
Being a single mother, I had to struggle with raising a child with lack of experience. I thought my life was completely over. I knew I had to maintain a steady income and a stable household for my son, but I really didn't know how. I had my grandparents supporting me with him as long as I progressed positively in my life, but I really didn't even know what I wanted to do in life. I was in school at the time but I was depressed and I really was looking for a magical solution to my issues instead of searching for some valuable resources that could teach me to be a better parent, and a support group to share feelings. I had to grow to love my child because I honestly felt like he ruined my life. I was not standing for anything and falling for everything that came my way.
The effects of being in a domestic violence situations caused me to seek help. I developed a skill, being a certified nurse aide, and I was currently in college at Community College of Beaver County. My ex- boyfriend, who was considerably older than me was verbally abusive, physical abusive, and financially abusive to me. I thought everyone went through these type of relationships, so that's why I put up with it for so long. I ended up dropping out of college and quitting my job. I isolated myself from the world. Feeling so unworthy, guilty, shameful and depressed, I turned to drugs and alcohol for my magic solution.
The effects of drugs and alcohol robbed me of living a life that's worth living. I was self medicating to suppress the feelings of anger and resentments of not pursuing my dreams. I eventually felt some good in my life using drugs and alcohol, but it took a turn for the worse. I basically was spiritually, physically and mentally broken. I was using drugs and alcohol to escape from life, to fit in with friends and family members and because I was blaming everyone and everything for my issues I came upon. On February 25, 2010, I decided to take my life back. I checked in to outpatient rehab and finally got some real help. Today I have a choice. Today I am living a life that is worth living, and I am content. I work hard every day to become that person I always dreamed about, not caring what people think today. I do have up's and down's in life, but my worst clean day, is better than my best day getting high off drugs and alcohol.
In conclusion, Point Park university is a great school for me to complete my bachelors' degree. I visited the campus, did research and it fits right into what I would like to accomplish in life. The campus is not too small or too large to fall in the cracks, they have a wide variety of extracurricular activities, which I am open to try. The location is great, I don't have too much of a transition, being a single mother, and the tuition, is at a moderate cost. I want Point Park University to be one of my foundations, because I am remaining teachable today. I like what the school has to offer and I believe that I have something to offer to the University.
Experiencing life on life's terms, I was able to learn from life's lessons and start to live a life that is worth living. There are a few situations I would like to mention that help me overcome adversity and grow and mature as a young woman that I am today. Being a single mother, being a survivor of domestic violence, being the first person in my family to graduate from college and drugs and alcohol, along with my lack of experience and being unaware about life, caused me to take certain actions that led me to where I am today.
Being the first person in my family to graduate from college was exciting for me. I had a sense of personal accomplishment, until I realized, members of my family didn't care or tried to sway me from progressing in life. My mother, who is in current addiction as a functioning alcoholic, verbally abused me for deciding to complete college. All I ever wanted was for her to accept me, to love me and to support the positive decisions I've chose. I ended up as a result of my distorted thinking, lowering myself to her terms of life by drinking, and partying and trying to fit in her lifestyle. Other close family members would also ask me, "Why are you still in school? You should just get a job." I knew in my heart that I wanted more than just a job. I knew in my heart I can do better, for myself and contribute to the world in some way.
Being a single mother, I had to struggle with raising a child with lack of experience. I thought my life was completely over. I knew I had to maintain a steady income and a stable household for my son, but I really didn't know how. I had my grandparents supporting me with him as long as I progressed positively in my life, but I really didn't even know what I wanted to do in life. I was in school at the time but I was depressed and I really was looking for a magical solution to my issues instead of searching for some valuable resources that could teach me to be a better parent, and a support group to share feelings. I had to grow to love my child because I honestly felt like he ruined my life. I was not standing for anything and falling for everything that came my way.
The effects of being in a domestic violence situations caused me to seek help. I developed a skill, being a certified nurse aide, and I was currently in college at Community College of Beaver County. My ex- boyfriend, who was considerably older than me was verbally abusive, physical abusive, and financially abusive to me. I thought everyone went through these type of relationships, so that's why I put up with it for so long. I ended up dropping out of college and quitting my job. I isolated myself from the world. Feeling so unworthy, guilty, shameful and depressed, I turned to drugs and alcohol for my magic solution.
The effects of drugs and alcohol robbed me of living a life that's worth living. I was self medicating to suppress the feelings of anger and resentments of not pursuing my dreams. I eventually felt some good in my life using drugs and alcohol, but it took a turn for the worse. I basically was spiritually, physically and mentally broken. I was using drugs and alcohol to escape from life, to fit in with friends and family members and because I was blaming everyone and everything for my issues I came upon. On February 25, 2010, I decided to take my life back. I checked in to outpatient rehab and finally got some real help. Today I have a choice. Today I am living a life that is worth living, and I am content. I work hard every day to become that person I always dreamed about, not caring what people think today. I do have up's and down's in life, but my worst clean day, is better than my best day getting high off drugs and alcohol.
In conclusion, Point Park university is a great school for me to complete my bachelors' degree. I visited the campus, did research and it fits right into what I would like to accomplish in life. The campus is not too small or too large to fall in the cracks, they have a wide variety of extracurricular activities, which I am open to try. The location is great, I don't have too much of a transition, being a single mother, and the tuition, is at a moderate cost. I want Point Park University to be one of my foundations, because I am remaining teachable today. I like what the school has to offer and I believe that I have something to offer to the University.