Hi. Please help me correct my supplemental essay for medical school :). Thank you for your time and consideration.
Do you have unique experiences or obstacles that you have overcome that were not covered in your application about which you would like to inform our Admissions Committee? (maximum 3000 characters including spaces)
It was a hectic Saturday morning in the Emergency Department at San Francisco General Hospital, one which I still vividly remember. I was working my usual volunteer shift, filling empty gurneys with oxygen tanks and conversing with patients situated along the hallway. Our friendly conversations were suddenly interrupted by a piercing alarm sound. I knew what was coming. As I headed for the blood bank, a team of surgeons scuttled pass me and assembled in front of Trauma Room 1. When I returned with a fresh batch of blood, the ER walls flickered with flashes of siren light, and a young adult was wheeled in on a stretcher covered with blood. His face grimaced in pain. In the trauma room, I helped the nurses cut his clothes and immediately applied gauze pads to stem the bleeding of his multiple gunshot wounds. Unfortunately, one of the bullets had struck the patient's left eye, leaving it dangling from its socket. X-ray images were taken, monitoring devices hooked up, and the team of surgeons began their preliminary surgeries to stabilize the patient. From then on, it was a race against time. "Hang on in there," I softly reassured him.
I stood by the patient's side, frequently spraying his wounds with a cleaning solution to help the physicians see their surgical procedures. My hands violently trembled, and I was overwhelmed and terrified by the incident. I have cut open sedated mice and rabbits before; I have dissected human cadavers as well. But this was something else: before my eyes laid a human being whose life hung in the balance. I have encountered many life-threatening injuries during my volunteer work at SFGH, but this one in particular stands out because of the severity of the patient's condition and the violent cause of the injury. Though I was incredibly nervous, I felt a strong sense of responsibility toward the patient. I calmed myself and continued helping the physicians and nurses until the patient was stable.
Through this hands-on experience, I received the opportunity to help provide emergency care for the trauma patient. I also had the opportunity to closely watch and learn as the surgeons utilized state-of-the-art medical technology to perform various operations. Despite the frenetic setting of the ER, I was amazed by how composed and skilled the surgeons were. After a few weeks in the hospital, the patient recovered, and his eyesight was fully restored. It was a rewarding feeling to be able to help the patient recuperate from such a horrific trauma, even if the act was simply retrieving blood from the blood bank or stemming the bleeding. This unique experience has given me a greater admiration for the art of the surgeon and fostered my interest in pursuing this medical field of study.
Do you have unique experiences or obstacles that you have overcome that were not covered in your application about which you would like to inform our Admissions Committee? (maximum 3000 characters including spaces)
It was a hectic Saturday morning in the Emergency Department at San Francisco General Hospital, one which I still vividly remember. I was working my usual volunteer shift, filling empty gurneys with oxygen tanks and conversing with patients situated along the hallway. Our friendly conversations were suddenly interrupted by a piercing alarm sound. I knew what was coming. As I headed for the blood bank, a team of surgeons scuttled pass me and assembled in front of Trauma Room 1. When I returned with a fresh batch of blood, the ER walls flickered with flashes of siren light, and a young adult was wheeled in on a stretcher covered with blood. His face grimaced in pain. In the trauma room, I helped the nurses cut his clothes and immediately applied gauze pads to stem the bleeding of his multiple gunshot wounds. Unfortunately, one of the bullets had struck the patient's left eye, leaving it dangling from its socket. X-ray images were taken, monitoring devices hooked up, and the team of surgeons began their preliminary surgeries to stabilize the patient. From then on, it was a race against time. "Hang on in there," I softly reassured him.
I stood by the patient's side, frequently spraying his wounds with a cleaning solution to help the physicians see their surgical procedures. My hands violently trembled, and I was overwhelmed and terrified by the incident. I have cut open sedated mice and rabbits before; I have dissected human cadavers as well. But this was something else: before my eyes laid a human being whose life hung in the balance. I have encountered many life-threatening injuries during my volunteer work at SFGH, but this one in particular stands out because of the severity of the patient's condition and the violent cause of the injury. Though I was incredibly nervous, I felt a strong sense of responsibility toward the patient. I calmed myself and continued helping the physicians and nurses until the patient was stable.
Through this hands-on experience, I received the opportunity to help provide emergency care for the trauma patient. I also had the opportunity to closely watch and learn as the surgeons utilized state-of-the-art medical technology to perform various operations. Despite the frenetic setting of the ER, I was amazed by how composed and skilled the surgeons were. After a few weeks in the hospital, the patient recovered, and his eyesight was fully restored. It was a rewarding feeling to be able to help the patient recuperate from such a horrific trauma, even if the act was simply retrieving blood from the blood bank or stemming the bleeding. This unique experience has given me a greater admiration for the art of the surgeon and fostered my interest in pursuing this medical field of study.
