Prompt:Travel or living experiences in other countries
To some, if not many, Germany is considered the problem child of Europe because of the thirst for power and expansion abroad during the 1900's. For me Germany is the place where I was born, the place in which I spent the first two years of my life. I was only a baby went I left Europe and know as a young adult I crave to understand and observe where I was born. Before leaving to Germany so many people told me that I had to be careful, for Nazis may still exist. As a baby I didn't not know anything about German history, but after many world history classes I had a basic knowledge of what happened.
As I wait for the plane to take off I realized that I am scared, for it is a long ride and I was alone. My dad was waiting for me in Germany. I did not know what to except, for I was a baby and I did not remember anything. When the plane landed and I took a look at the landscape, memories of my childhood came back to life. Playing in the strawberries fields running through the sunflowers fields, everything came back as if it had never banished from my mind. How could I have been so scared? The answer is simple, after reading so much of World War one and two, we created a stereotype. We cannot base our thoughts of someone from where they were born or raised.
Even if I was only born there, with no German heritage, I feel as if I belong there. The climate was wonderful. It was cold on December but hot on summer; just what everybody needs. Not to mention that the people are so kind. Kids are running or riding their bikes, mothers are laughing, while fathers are working. All off this I observed while walking down the streets with an ice cream cone in my hand. Another thing that I loved of Germany is that they are really trying to make a change, and save the world. They don't use that mush vehicles, they think bicycle are better. Not only for the environment, but for them; it keeps them on shape.
Now last but not least the houses were my favorites. They are beyond doubt a piece of art, so cozy and peaceful. The attic so big that it could become a room, the rooms are so bright that you feel as if you are outside. Germany is beautiful in all aspects, and because of fear I may not been able to enjoy my trip to Germany. I decided to put it aside, for we cannot judge people for the mistakes that their ancestors made.
the essay good in general, but i saw the flaw, in your 11 line in the ens you said off, it should be of
Line two. 'Went' should be 'when.'
This is a really good essay. Short and precise. It responds the essay question really good. The only thing I noticed is that you spelled mush instead of much in your 13th line.
Hey, Angie2012, would you mind reviewing my essay that I posted?
thanks :) yeah i tend to make a lot of simple mistakes
'As I wait for the plane to take off I realized that I am scared, for it is a long ride and I was alone.'
Watch your verbs: some are in the present tense, while others are in the past tense. You should try to create a distinct line between the present and the past.
Overall, a very good essay!
Great, concise essay. The only thing I notice was that "Even if I was only born there, with no German heritage, I feel as if I belong there." should be changed to "Even if I WERE..." You have to use the subjunctive mood for an if clause.
good essay, it was concise, and it gives insight on yourself. The thing is that it has a lot of errors.:
"To some, if not many, Germany is considered the problem child of Europe because of theits thirst for power and expansion abroad during the 1900's. ForTo me Germany is the place where I was born, the place in which I spent the first two years of my life. I was only a baby wentwhen I left Europe and knownow as a young adult I crave to understand and observe where I was born. Before leaving to Germany so many people told me that I had to be careful, for Nazis may still exist. As a baby I didn't not know anything about German history, but after many world history classes, I had a basic knowledge of what happened.
As I waited for the plane to take off I realized that I amwas scared, for it is a long ride and I was alone. My dad was waiting for me in Germany. I did not know what to exceptexpect , for I was a baby and I did not remember anything. When the plane landed and I took a look at the landscape, memories of my childhood came back to life. Playing in the strawberry fields, running through the sunflowers fields-- everything came back as if it had never banished from my mind (< not the best word choice ). How could I have been so scared? The answer is simple: after reading so much of World Wars one and two, we created a stereotype. We cannot base our thoughts of someone from where they were born or raised.
Even if I was only born there, with no German heritage, I feel as if I belong there. The climate was wonderful. It was cold onin December but hot onin summer; just what everybody needs. Not to mention that the people are so kind. Kids are running or riding their bikes, mothers are laughing, while fathers are working. All of this I observed while walking down the streets with an ice cream cone in my hand. Another thing that I loved of Germany is that they are really trying to make a change and save the world. They don't use that mush vehicles (< I don't understand this ), they think bicycle are better. Not only for the environment, but for themselves ; it keeps them onin shape.
Now, last but not least, the houses were my favorites. They are beyond doubt a piece of artpieces of art , so cozy and peaceful. The attic is so big that it could become a room, the rooms are so bright that you feel as if you are outside. Germany is beautiful in all aspects, and because of fear I may not been able to enjoy my trip to Germany. I decided to put it aside, for we cannot judge people for the mistakes that their ancestors made."
I really like the imagery; my mom is from austria and we visited germany and its neighbors several times, and what you write about brings me back to that, haha. What is good about this piece is that you don't glamour your writing with fancy words to stuff it up, but simply and honestly told your story. It was very simple and relaxing to read.
great essay :)
