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My trip to Sandy Island - group experience and role in it



ivylaw 3 / 6  
Nov 29, 2013   #1
Q: Describe your most significant group work experience including the role you played and your contributions.

A: The trip to Sandy Island was my most significant group experience. During my time at Quadra cadet camp, I was required to pass a harsh survival course along with 24 other cadets, which was to spend a night on the inhibited island called Sandy Island. From afar, it looked like a dessert with evergreen trees sprouting from the middle like lava spewing from a volcano. We anchored our sailboat after a 4 hour long row, and we jumped into the water, forming a line to the shore. After we delivered our supplies onto the shore, using the assembly line technique, we opened up the tent bags and stared at each other. None of us had ever set up a tent before, much less a large ten person tent. I scrolled up my sleeves and suggested that we start by looking at the instructions provided. After reading the instructions, I explained to them that we had to spread out the tent first. With that said, I took a corner and started pulling outwards. I encouraged the others to follow my lead, and with the help of 10 others, we barely managed to finish setting up our first tent. Looking at the other four tents, the others sighed. We huddled up and decided that each tent would need the labour of 6 cadets. Without the contribution from each one of us, we would have had to spend the night sleeping on the sand with the cold ocean breeze caressing our cheeks.

Can you please tell me if I answered the question fully. I didn't list out my role and contributions but I hinted it in the paragraph...Is it easy to follow,

Also, is the topic relevant to the question!

dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 29, 2013   #2
Can you please tell me if I answered the question fully. I didn't list out my role and contributions but I hinted it in the paragraph...Is it easy to follow,
Also, is the topic relevant to the question!

Well.... I think this is a fantastic story to answer this prompt. However, there is one thing I noticed here - you give every detail of that experience but not much talked about what you gained out of that experience. In other words, you describe the role you played in it on surface only. Tell them what challenges you face while playing that role, how you overcame and led your team to success and what you learned out of that experience. Add a bit more emotions to your writing. :)

You are in the right track, but have lots of potential for further improvement :)
amarao96 3 / 7  
Nov 30, 2013   #3
I agree this is a great story but you did touch on your role a little bit. This is an interesting story and I'm sure there were some annoying moments, moments you just wished you were back home but you kept moving because the task needed to be done. The response is short but have a little more fun with it so the reader can truly see whee your head was at when this happened not just only know the facts of what happened
NerdFighter 2 / 5  
Nov 30, 2013   #4
looked like a dessertdesert with evergreen trees

I scrolledrolled up my sleeves

Great story, but it seems a little lifeless...maybe some more descriptions would connect your sentences a little better. You could maybe come out a little more explicitly and say you took charge as the leader. I think a concluding sentence where you state whether or not the tent-pitching was successfully finished and if so, how you had influenced the whole thing would wrap up and address the question very nicely.


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