UCF college entrance essay, environment/culture/family history influence

Must be between 250-500 words. This is my essay:

2. How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?

My environment has affected my life a lot throughout the years. Things haven't always been easy, and the way I do things varies widely from those in my age group. My family life never was a smooth sail. For instance, my mother, father and I migrated from Quebec, Canada when I was about 3 years old. We had to leave everyone else behind, separating me from my grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. After living here for about 10 years, my father decided he wanted to go back, on his own. My father leaving made me a stronger, more independent person. He left at such a vital time in my life, forcing me to do things on my own. However negative that may sound, it has helped me see everything from a different perspective. I see things the way they are, without the influence of others. My family situation has made me want to prove to myself that I can make it on my own. I won't give in to peer pressure, I always stay on track. Trying to prove to myself and my family that I'm doing just fine on my own is very important to me and has benefited me greatly. I got a job so that I could save up some money for college, since my mom was working a lot to stay clear of debt. I mainly concentrate on academic work to extend my education to the highest level possible and have high goals, like my dream of being a neurosurgeon. Another way my environment has affected me would be during the end of my sophomore year in high school, I transfered from a public school lacking in good academic scores, to a academically advanced private Catholic school. Transferring in the middle of my high school career was tough. I had to adjust to a completely different school world, make new friends, get used to new rules, everything. All the "cliques" have already been formed by the time I transferred, students already understood how the school worked, standards had been raised, it was a huge change. It wasn't easy, but I surprisingly adjusted rapidly. On my own again, I moved on further with my education and kept pushing through. I'm able to accomplish things without depending on help from others. I've accomplished many of the goals I've set for myself and continue to achieve all I want to achieve.

All criticism is ok! :) Thank you guys :)

First of all let me say this is very good. On that note, I did change some spelling/grammar mistakes that I found on you essay. Any changes I made I highlighted below so you can see them. I also put in some semicolons to prevent run on sentences.

You did a really good job at sticking to the prompt and not wandering off by the way, kudos!

I wish you luck with getting into the school of your choice whether it be UCF or another one :)

Revised Essay:

My environment has affected my life a lot throughout the years. Things haven't always been easy, and the way I do things varies widely from those in my age group. My family life was never smooth sailing . For instance, my mother, father, and I migrated from Quebec, Canada when I was about 3 years old. We had to leave everyone else behind, separating me from my grandparents, uncles, aunts, etc. After living in the USA for about 10 years, my father decided he wanted to go back... on his own. My father leaving made me a stronger, more independent person. He left at such a vital time in my life, forcing me to do things on my own. However negative this may sound, it has helped me see everything from a different perspective. I see things the way they are, without the influence of others. My family situation has made me want to prove to myself that I can make it on my own. I won't give in to peer-pressure; I always stay on track. Trying to prove to myself and my family that I'm doing just fine on my own is very important to me and has benefited me greatly. I got a job so that I could save up some money for college, since my mom was working a lot to stay clear of debt. I'm mainly concentrate on academic work to extend my education to the highest level possible and fulfill my high goals, such as my dream of being a neurosurgeon. Another way my environment has affected me would be during the end of my sophomore year in high school, I transferred from a public school lacking in good academic scores, to a academically advanced private Catholic school. Transferring in the middle of my high school career was tough. I had to adjust to a completely different school environment , make new friends, and adapt to new rules. All the "cliques" had already been formed by the time I transferred, students already understood how the school worked, standards had been raised; it was a huge change. It wasn't easy, but I surprisingly adjusted rapidly. On my own again, I moved on further with my education and kept pushing through. I was able to accomplish things without depending on help from others. I've accomplished many of the goals I've set for myself and will continue to achieve all I want to achieve.

One final note: On the final sentence maybe you could add something more such as "I've accomplished many of the goals I've set for myself and will continue to push myself to excel in all I do until I finally achieve all I've ever wanted achieve ."

Again, good luck!

Thank you so much for your help! :)