Hey :) So here are my two UCF essays. The prompts I ansered are "How as your family, history, culture or enviormental influenced who you are?" and "Why did you choose to apply to UCF?"
First essay
Moving into a higher gear
When I was 12, I moved to a place where I never expected I would like. From the heavy traffic to the amazing street food everywhere, there's no doubt my stay in India has been my most memorable expiences. I went to go live with my grandparents, whom I know consider my seond parents. I lived in the city Hyderabad, which is like the New York of India. My time over there was the most amazing four years of my life, and it shaped me into a completely different person. Before I moved to India, I was quiet and reserved. After starting school in a whole new world, I didn't have trouble adjusting at all, because everyone was like me; in the long run, it was these people who shaped me to become the smart and beautiful girl I am today. They encouraged me to start new things, and helped me adjust to my new life. I realized that I should be proud of both myself and my culture. I became more family-oriented, and started to do a lot of community service, like helping feed the poor. Not only did I change at heart, I looked at life in a different perspective. I started working harder in school, and making my parents proud. I discovered my true talents, like painting, writing poetry and playing the guitar. My personality changed dramatically, from being the shy girl in the back of the room to the most talkative girl that everybody wanted to be friends with. Overall, it was just staggering to realize there was much more to me than I had ever even imagined. Personality wasn't the only thing that changed about me; I grew up in the most mature way possible. I think carefully before doing something, and the examples set by my parents and peers have become meticulous with my action.
Second essay
Once a knight, always a knight
When I first opened the UCF website, there was a big yellow photo slideshow that showed the UCF creed: Integrity, Scholarship, Community, Creativity and Excellence. My mind started wondering "What do all those things have to do with UCF?" My mouse magically started to click away on the different links throughout the website. As I learned more about UCF, I realized it had many aspects to it that really suited me as a person. It seems like there's an amazing student body. I love to play basket-ball and golf, so I definitely want to help take the Knights athletics department to a whole different level. Also, with over 216 different degrees, I'm sure I'll never have trouble deciding what I want to do in life. Sometimes, I can see myself sitting outside on the grass on the 1,415-acre campus. I feel like going to UCF is just the change I need, to discover something else about me. Mainly, I want to go to a place that will make me feel at home; and ultimately, help me become the shining knight I truly am.
I NEED ADVICE I FEEL THESE ESSAYS AREN'T WORTHY ENOUGH. help me :(
thanks :)
xoxo,
Prahasi
First essay
Moving into a higher gear
When I was 12, I moved to a place where I never expected I would like. From the heavy traffic to the amazing street food everywhere, there's no doubt my stay in India has been my most memorable expiences. I went to go live with my grandparents, whom I know consider my seond parents. I lived in the city Hyderabad, which is like the New York of India. My time over there was the most amazing four years of my life, and it shaped me into a completely different person. Before I moved to India, I was quiet and reserved. After starting school in a whole new world, I didn't have trouble adjusting at all, because everyone was like me; in the long run, it was these people who shaped me to become the smart and beautiful girl I am today. They encouraged me to start new things, and helped me adjust to my new life. I realized that I should be proud of both myself and my culture. I became more family-oriented, and started to do a lot of community service, like helping feed the poor. Not only did I change at heart, I looked at life in a different perspective. I started working harder in school, and making my parents proud. I discovered my true talents, like painting, writing poetry and playing the guitar. My personality changed dramatically, from being the shy girl in the back of the room to the most talkative girl that everybody wanted to be friends with. Overall, it was just staggering to realize there was much more to me than I had ever even imagined. Personality wasn't the only thing that changed about me; I grew up in the most mature way possible. I think carefully before doing something, and the examples set by my parents and peers have become meticulous with my action.
Second essay
Once a knight, always a knight
When I first opened the UCF website, there was a big yellow photo slideshow that showed the UCF creed: Integrity, Scholarship, Community, Creativity and Excellence. My mind started wondering "What do all those things have to do with UCF?" My mouse magically started to click away on the different links throughout the website. As I learned more about UCF, I realized it had many aspects to it that really suited me as a person. It seems like there's an amazing student body. I love to play basket-ball and golf, so I definitely want to help take the Knights athletics department to a whole different level. Also, with over 216 different degrees, I'm sure I'll never have trouble deciding what I want to do in life. Sometimes, I can see myself sitting outside on the grass on the 1,415-acre campus. I feel like going to UCF is just the change I need, to discover something else about me. Mainly, I want to go to a place that will make me feel at home; and ultimately, help me become the shining knight I truly am.
I NEED ADVICE I FEEL THESE ESSAYS AREN'T WORTHY ENOUGH. help me :(
thanks :)
xoxo,
Prahasi