I have written this essay as a personal essay for one of my classes. I talked to my teacher a bit and we came to the conclusion that I could turn this essay into a really great college essay. My only problem is I have no idea what to change. I'm applying through the common app so I'm pretty sure it needs to be between 250-500 words. Right now I think it's at like 750 or so. So my question is what should I add to make it more about me. What should I remove to make it less about the guitar. Or any ideas on how to make the descriptions of my guitar tie into me intellectually. Any and all advice is appreciated, Thanks so much in advance. Also as a disclaimer- I have written this entirely by myself. I did not take any ideas from anyone else and everything was written in the same sitting without any interference/sources of copying. Please do not take any part of my essay and include it in your own without my permission, Thank you.
It's one of the most influential and popular instruments in our culture. The versatility and unique tones make it a powerful tool to describe something without using words. It helps me form special bonds with others due to similarities in feeling and soul. I can convert my emotions to sound waves and they suddenly become clear and understandable. Complex emotions flow out of my body and suddenly they don't seem so complicated. Each individual has their own purpose when they create music. This is my perspective.
Its stricken tone can strike a cord in my soul that leaves me craving more. It's a drug that demands more and more but it's never quite satisfied. The more I feed it the more powerful it becomes. Each phrase transforms into a memory, the sound waves plummet deeper into my soul as the intensity increases. Shivers run down my spine as the sounds shake nearly every cell in my body. Mentally I am in a different reality. I can see the sounds drift through the air almost as well as I can hear them. Each reaches out and grabs me in its own unique way leaving an imprint that matches the next. Like a chain of DNA it will run its course through my blood stream leaving its mark on everything it touches. It's the blues.
Its mind bending tone distorts my view on reality. The tones have no distinct features that are found anywhere else. It's one of a kind. It has a strange preference to repeat itself. It talks forwards and backwards to form its sound. Like a schizophrenic, the concepts it presents seem coherent to the speaker but when further analyzed, it does not follow any form or make any sense when compared to anything else. A sense of contentment will surround me, submerging me like water. Sadness will surround me as if the weight of the world rests upon my shoulders. Happiness will radiate from me as if I were as powerful as the sun. It's as close as I will come to experiencing a split personality; its best described as psychedelic rock.
Its understanding tone complements with others perfectly. It meshes sound waves together to produce a product that instills a desire to get up and do something. Each sound sends a signal to its unique body part. Whether it is a simple head nod, a tap of a foot or a dance. It's almost as if the sounds speak and it's giving instructions to perform an action to which I act upon. My attention is diverted to a positive action; all problems that run through your conscious are lost. If I were to put a label on it, I'd call it rock.
Its twisted tone clatters my bones and rattles my brain which resides inside of my skull. The sound resembles a thousand needles being poked and prodded into my body. The feeling is bitter sweet. Surges of energy course through my veins as the sounds travel through the air like a jagged arrow. The sound of machine gun fire overpowers the primitive whistle of the jagged arrow. It shakes me as if you were being fired upon in war. Each blast of sound resembles a friend or foe falling leaving me dazed and confused. However it doesn't matter, like a masochist I will always come crawling back for more. It will not take me to a different mental state so much as it will take me to a new physical state. It pounds from inside of me almost as if something is trying to escape from within; heavy metal.
It has the power to help me express things I normally would not be able to convey through words. It's its own language, a language which almost everyone can relate too. You may not be able to speak it but you can understand what I am conveying. I can fill the gap between rationality and feelings; which gives a better understanding of who I am as a person. I know it may sound like I am articulating my thoughts about music. I would probably think that if I were reading this; however the music produced through my guitar runs through my veins just as much as it travels through the air. In a way describing music is the best way to describe myself.
It's one of the most influential and popular instruments in our culture. The versatility and unique tones make it a powerful tool to describe something without using words. It helps me form special bonds with others due to similarities in feeling and soul. I can convert my emotions to sound waves and they suddenly become clear and understandable. Complex emotions flow out of my body and suddenly they don't seem so complicated. Each individual has their own purpose when they create music. This is my perspective.
Its stricken tone can strike a cord in my soul that leaves me craving more. It's a drug that demands more and more but it's never quite satisfied. The more I feed it the more powerful it becomes. Each phrase transforms into a memory, the sound waves plummet deeper into my soul as the intensity increases. Shivers run down my spine as the sounds shake nearly every cell in my body. Mentally I am in a different reality. I can see the sounds drift through the air almost as well as I can hear them. Each reaches out and grabs me in its own unique way leaving an imprint that matches the next. Like a chain of DNA it will run its course through my blood stream leaving its mark on everything it touches. It's the blues.
Its mind bending tone distorts my view on reality. The tones have no distinct features that are found anywhere else. It's one of a kind. It has a strange preference to repeat itself. It talks forwards and backwards to form its sound. Like a schizophrenic, the concepts it presents seem coherent to the speaker but when further analyzed, it does not follow any form or make any sense when compared to anything else. A sense of contentment will surround me, submerging me like water. Sadness will surround me as if the weight of the world rests upon my shoulders. Happiness will radiate from me as if I were as powerful as the sun. It's as close as I will come to experiencing a split personality; its best described as psychedelic rock.
Its understanding tone complements with others perfectly. It meshes sound waves together to produce a product that instills a desire to get up and do something. Each sound sends a signal to its unique body part. Whether it is a simple head nod, a tap of a foot or a dance. It's almost as if the sounds speak and it's giving instructions to perform an action to which I act upon. My attention is diverted to a positive action; all problems that run through your conscious are lost. If I were to put a label on it, I'd call it rock.
Its twisted tone clatters my bones and rattles my brain which resides inside of my skull. The sound resembles a thousand needles being poked and prodded into my body. The feeling is bitter sweet. Surges of energy course through my veins as the sounds travel through the air like a jagged arrow. The sound of machine gun fire overpowers the primitive whistle of the jagged arrow. It shakes me as if you were being fired upon in war. Each blast of sound resembles a friend or foe falling leaving me dazed and confused. However it doesn't matter, like a masochist I will always come crawling back for more. It will not take me to a different mental state so much as it will take me to a new physical state. It pounds from inside of me almost as if something is trying to escape from within; heavy metal.
It has the power to help me express things I normally would not be able to convey through words. It's its own language, a language which almost everyone can relate too. You may not be able to speak it but you can understand what I am conveying. I can fill the gap between rationality and feelings; which gives a better understanding of who I am as a person. I know it may sound like I am articulating my thoughts about music. I would probably think that if I were reading this; however the music produced through my guitar runs through my veins just as much as it travels through the air. In a way describing music is the best way to describe myself.
