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University of Colorado Boulder Flagship Essay - Returning Home and Finding Myself



kakiasatt 1 / 7  
Nov 26, 2012   #1
The University of Colorado at Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching, research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live. Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community and what are your hopes for your college experience?

I recently came home this summer from a two-year escapade in Texas. In technical terms I moved there, lived there, and received an education during the two years. However, it never felt like Texas was my home. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the experience of visiting an almost entirely new culture, however after two years living there was just not my cup of tea. Upon my arrival back in Maryland, I explored my room, full of things I had long forgotten. I read about my adventures as a superhero, my travels as a pirate in the Atlantic Ocean, and my findings in the deep jungles of Peru. I found notebooks full of failed movie scripts and the beginnings of books that never got past the first chapter. I had a huge imagination, but my ADHD kept me jumping from idea to idea.

Long lost passions rekindled my memory, and if only for a little while, I truly felt like a child again. It felt like I was coming back to a room that was occupied by an entirely different person, realizing how much I had been through and matured during my time in Texas. But I was happy to be back home, back in Maryland for one more year before I'm truly set off on my own. A lot of the creativity I had was gone. I was no longer Genghis Khan at noon and Darth Vader at night.

I realized that the reason I was so glad to be home wasn't because I had missed it, but because I was hopefully seeing it for one of the last times... a bittersweet year of goodbye. My dream is to travel. I have the spirit of an adventurer. I want to explore the world, meet new people and discover unique cultures. Visit beautiful areas and experience the cities of the world. The imagination I had as a kid took me to exotic lands and cultural centers, and now that I'm older my imagination has turned into something that is my ultimate dream. Coming back home for my final year before adulthood helped me realize the transformation that I've undergone in my life, especially with going to Texas. Even though I am glad to move back home, there is no denying Texas changed me, which only reinforces my desire to travel and experience new places.

That leads me to my biggest hope for my college experience. To visit and live in a completely new environment, meet hundreds of entirely new people and their own ideas, and continuing my ongoing journey. I hope I can bring my unique restless spirit as a way to help enrich the community that Boulder has, and input my perspectives into the giant melting pot that is College.

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Thanks in advance for the feedback! I will get to giving feedback on other user essays tomorrow afternoon, it's been a long night and i need some sleep! :-)

dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 28, 2012   #2
Hi,

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the experience of visiting an almost entirely new culture, however after two years living there was just not my cup of tea !

I did a small change with punctuation : )

but my ADHD kept me jumping from idea to idea.

you are an interesting person :)

I hope I can bring my unique restless spirit as a way to help enrich the community that Boulder has, and input my perspectives into the giant melting pot that is College.

This is all you includein your essay to respond to what they ask. I feel you shoul talk a little more about it. Be a bit more elaborative on that as the whole this is focussed on the point.

Anyways.... I enjoyed reading your essay! Great writing!
OP kakiasatt 1 / 7  
Nov 28, 2012   #3
Hey dumi... Thanks a lot for your feedback! I tried to revise that last paragraph a little bit, but i am kind of stumped on what to say. After this revision i have 485 words, so i'm close to the 500 word limit.

"I hope I can bring my unique restless spirit as a way to help enrich the community that Boulder has. I've visited many places and engaged with many different types of people in this world. My experiences living in two entirely different states would help bring multiple perspectives into the giant melting pot that is College."

I'd be so grateful if you could give me feedback and advice on my revisions! If i need to add more i can try editing out some earlier parts.
mzontario 9 / 43  
Nov 28, 2012   #4
In technical terms I moved there, lived there, and received an education during the two years.

I think it should be, 'Technically, I moved there, lived there, and received and education in the two years.'

I like this. Very nostalgic and one can tell you wrote it from the heart. :)


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