Using Lady Gaga as a topic for my college admissions essay -- too risky?

This is my very first attempt at a college admissions essay. I have a rough draft due this Friday for my Lit class, and I wanted to put this example out there before i submitted it for a grade. My teacher told me to stay away from "common essays" and i figured what is less ordinary than a quote by Lady Gaga. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance,

Emily (11th grader)

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Prompt: What is the best advice you have received? Why is it important? Word limit : 250

She is known for her outrageous outfits and nonconformist personality. The world's new phenomenon: Lady Gaga. "They can't scare me, if I scare them first," and Mother Monster said it best. I have always been a reserved and quiet individual. One who prefers the shadows as opposed to the spotlight, but this advice has uncovered...

She is known for her outrageous outfits and nonconformist personality. The world's new phenomenon: Lady Gaga. "They can't scare me, if I scare them first," and Mother Monster (Lady Gaga) said it best. I have always been a reserved and quite individual. One who prefers the shadows as opposed to the spotlight, but this advice has uncovered a courage I didn't think I had. Standing on the sidelines in life is not going to get me anywhere. We all have fears and at some point we will need to overcome them. If one is not willing to step up, there is another person waiting in line ready to spring on his or her opportunity. Take what you can get, and the other things that weren't offered to you, you need to make them happen yourself. I learned that in life, one needs to show bravery and strength in order to succeed. If one doesn't have the courage to do so, he or she should take the leap and it will come in time. Courage isn't something that develops overnight. It is something that grows after multiple failures. Those experiences have the best lessons. Lady Gaga's incomparable valor and prowess has spurred a search for confidence and self esteem in myself. This advice taught me to cultivate my inner bravery, and stand up against the rest of the world. If I don't take a stand, someone else will. Every spot in this world comes at a price. We have all worked hard for what we have; and in a world where competition and determination are the true determining factors in the success of an individual, I have to defend my beliefs, show that I am not scared, even against the most intimidating foes, and only then will courage find me.

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My main question: is using Lady Gaga as my topic too risky? I don't want to be another "common" essay, i want to stand out and Lady Gaga does just that.

I really appreciate any insight! Thanks!

Hey Emily!

First of all, good job on the essay! It's well written! :-)

I don't think I can point out any errors here.


I think this probably highlights the essay's main point right? ---- The Advice.
I just feel that the way you've put it Lady Gaga sounds more of a role model, than a person who advised you... Maybe a little towards the end you should you could change it a bit to answer the question maybe a little more directly. (That's just my opinion, maybe I am over-analyzing it a bit! )

And I don't think using Lady gaga is a bad idea. :-)
Just one pointer : Don't rely on Gaga to make your essay stand out, rather use Gaga as an example to enhance your writing. It really doesn't matter who you choose, rather it's about how you use the person in your writing. :) Do you get what I'm trying to say?

Other than that, it's all good!
Hope I could help you...
Good Luck!

PS - I wrote a college essay on Lady Gaga tool! So don't worry. I don't think it's risky if you can manage to use her to answer your prompt well. :)

I think that using Lady Gaga is an excellent idea.
She is after all, as you said, the world's new phenomenon.
I don't find any technical correction needed and its really well written, Emily.
Perhaps you should take the advice of the person above and maybe stick to the "advisor" rather than the taking a more role model angle.

Overall, a good essay and I'm impressed with how you managed to write this content in just a tiny limit of words :)
Kudos for the creativeness of using Lady Gaga :)

That makes total sense. Thank you so much!

Thank you everyone for the positive feedback! I just found out that the prompt was actually 300 words, so i am going to revise my essay a little bit and take everyone's advice into account, and then hopefully post my final draft!

Thank you all again! I really appreciate the help!

I like your final draft a lot more than the original! Great Work!! :)
Glad I could help...

Hope your teacher likes the essay!
All the Best. :-)

No comma necessary here:
"They can't scare me if I scare them first," and Mother Monster ...

Brilliant! I do not think it is too risky, but I think you need to balance the philosophy with some specifics.

First of all, use paragraphs for clarity. End paragraphs with great sentences that you want to linger in the reader's mind.
Instead of going on and on to describe the concept that you are using as your theme, APPLY the concept by explaining the advice in terms of your career interest.

I think this is a great essay because I feel like it's original. Though, you may be concerned of being too risky... i think thats why I like it so much! You take a chance! I say go for it!