"if you had 10000$" - UVirginia Essay... engineering supplement

hey guys, the essay title for the engineering supplement essay is

Engineering: If you were given a $10,000 budget and the opportunity to build a small team of talented motivated individuals, what would you propose to accomplish?

Walking everyday from my house to school and back has never been the most sought after time in the day for me. This is mainly because while walking along the streets of Mumbai city, in every block one will come across a slum area, which is greatly polluted and has garbage thrown about in an unhygienic manner, which eventually makes its way through the rest of the block.

Given a budget of 10,000 $, I would make most of my knowledge as a budding engineer to build small garbage disposable robots, which could navigate through all the streets and alleys in my block and a few surrounding blocks, collecting the garbage by storing it in their body. When enough garbage would have been collected, I would further allow these small robots to be able to compress the garbage into a rectangular shape, making it easier for the garbage to be easily transportable.

Knowledge on engineering has always encouraged me to innovate technology at a lower cost providing better and more efficient functions. Robots like this made from used automobile and machine parts can be fairly cost efficient and help in beautifying the whole block and improving the quality of life of many of the slum dwellers.

hey in my opinion i do feel there are a few places where some of the words aren't fitting, but i have no idea how to substitute them!!

Anyways would love some advice and criticism on if what i've written is fine!

I like the idea , but i think you could write it in a better way. Try to improve the ending, try to end with a powerful statement. I love how you linked this to a personal issue, this makes you seem like a true engineer, who searches for a problem and tries to solve it. I think you should focus more on the Robot itself rather than what would happen to the garbage afterwards. Talk about the robot in more detail, perhaps its size, what it would be made of, etc ..

Can u please take a look at my essays
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Hey thanks a lot for your imputs... im just incorparating them after going through your essay!!.. :-)

I agree with mbanani but isn't this like an exact copy of WALL-E ?? lol

Hey hg726,
havnt seen wall-E ... but thought about it as the most practical idea to use which directly concerns me!
Thanks for your help... just getting back to you!

Definitely a great essay. I don't find any grammatical mistakes.

The phrase below was a little long and sounded a little awkward, I'd suggest revising a little?
Today's challenge of using Green energy keeping with the three R's of recycling, reducing and re-using along with budget cuts for innovating technology is an interesting ground for an engineer.

And I think it's $10,000 not 10,000 $

Other than that, you're essay is amazing

Hey I like the idea, but do you think is affordable with only $10,000??
I wrote this essay too, and my idea is way simpler. I tried to identify a problem and solved in a simple but efficient manner.

hey krum93,
yeah the affordability of the whole project got quite a few people i was showing this essay to , to question it... but in my opinion 10,000 dollars is lot of money... and getting the basic raw materials.. like the steel parts from a junkyard.. or so wouldn't cost that much... also having a team to buy sensors and GPA to work on the software to navigate the doesn't cost much above a few thousand dollars. And finally the compressor is a simple feature which just needs to be taken into account while designing.

So to answer your question, one would experience a cost of more than 10000 dollars, but if carefully taking into account what exactly you will be doing... you can build it within the budget.

and thats what i guess a good engineer does, thinks a few steps ahead.
CHEERS!