Hello everybody!
Here is my second essay for UC.
Just a few questions:
1) Is the topic too cliché?
2) Does the essay lack insight?
3) Did it relate to who I am?
Open to any suggestions+criticisms!
Thank you!!
Prompt #2 (All Applicants)
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Is it only when we receive trophies or set world records that we make accomplishments? Doesn't a simple gesture of making another person smile also count as an accomplishment, or even, a betterment of the society? In the hectic world nowadays, everybody is so buried in whatever they are doing that smiling is often forgotten, which is why, even if I made only one more person smile, I feel successful.
Volunteering at Boys & Girls club of South Bay gave me the opportunity to spread smiles. The club consists of an organization that aims to provide guidances to success for youngsters in the community. As part of the volunteering team, my job was to look after children in the club. On the first day of work, John, the director in charge, gave me a tour of the club. As we walked past the computer room, where many children were either intensely hitting the keyboards, or hypnotically gazing at the computer screen, I noticed a boy, aged around four, with beautifully tanned skin and perfectly rounded face, standing by a corner. By then, John was already introducing him to me. "This is Antonio, we have to take special care of him because... well... he is a little behind compared to other kids."
For the rest of that day, I observed Antonio and went to his rescue whenever he created trouble -he tried to play with other children, but he would unexpectedly throw away playing cards or surprisingly deconstruct Lego toys-. The next thing I knew, he was standing alone by the computer room again. I went up to him and introduced myself. Antonio stared at me, and returned to his own world again. I then took his hand and walk him to other rooms. I had no plan of what to do, but as I came across a ping-pong ball, he got excited and started reaching for it. I thought to myself, one cannot despise the power of attraction of a ping-pong ball... For hours, Antonio and I sat face to face, passing the ball. I taught him to count the number of times the ball hit the floor, and I continually asked him questions about the days of the week and the months, all the time during which I pronounced every word clearly and articulately. Finally, my shift finished, and so I had to leave. I said my goodbye to Antonio, and turned around, ready to step out. But then, Antonio took hold of my wrist and stared at me with the eyes of "Pussy in Boot". He called out "NO! NO!", and continue looking at me directly into my eyes. I hesitated for a second, and went back to my original position. He then smiled. It was a heart-warming, mischievous yet sincere smile.
That was truly a moment! It was as if I had added a little more happiness to the world. Seeing the smile builded up my confidence in making people happy, and more importantly, it kindled my determination to make the world happier.
Here is my second essay for UC.
Just a few questions:
1) Is the topic too cliché?
2) Does the essay lack insight?
3) Did it relate to who I am?
Open to any suggestions+criticisms!
Thank you!!
Prompt #2 (All Applicants)
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Is it only when we receive trophies or set world records that we make accomplishments? Doesn't a simple gesture of making another person smile also count as an accomplishment, or even, a betterment of the society? In the hectic world nowadays, everybody is so buried in whatever they are doing that smiling is often forgotten, which is why, even if I made only one more person smile, I feel successful.
Volunteering at Boys & Girls club of South Bay gave me the opportunity to spread smiles. The club consists of an organization that aims to provide guidances to success for youngsters in the community. As part of the volunteering team, my job was to look after children in the club. On the first day of work, John, the director in charge, gave me a tour of the club. As we walked past the computer room, where many children were either intensely hitting the keyboards, or hypnotically gazing at the computer screen, I noticed a boy, aged around four, with beautifully tanned skin and perfectly rounded face, standing by a corner. By then, John was already introducing him to me. "This is Antonio, we have to take special care of him because... well... he is a little behind compared to other kids."
For the rest of that day, I observed Antonio and went to his rescue whenever he created trouble -he tried to play with other children, but he would unexpectedly throw away playing cards or surprisingly deconstruct Lego toys-. The next thing I knew, he was standing alone by the computer room again. I went up to him and introduced myself. Antonio stared at me, and returned to his own world again. I then took his hand and walk him to other rooms. I had no plan of what to do, but as I came across a ping-pong ball, he got excited and started reaching for it. I thought to myself, one cannot despise the power of attraction of a ping-pong ball... For hours, Antonio and I sat face to face, passing the ball. I taught him to count the number of times the ball hit the floor, and I continually asked him questions about the days of the week and the months, all the time during which I pronounced every word clearly and articulately. Finally, my shift finished, and so I had to leave. I said my goodbye to Antonio, and turned around, ready to step out. But then, Antonio took hold of my wrist and stared at me with the eyes of "Pussy in Boot". He called out "NO! NO!", and continue looking at me directly into my eyes. I hesitated for a second, and went back to my original position. He then smiled. It was a heart-warming, mischievous yet sincere smile.
That was truly a moment! It was as if I had added a little more happiness to the world. Seeing the smile builded up my confidence in making people happy, and more importantly, it kindled my determination to make the world happier.
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