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'Walking is what matters to me' - Stanford supplement. Need help.



JackShi 1 / 2  
Dec 28, 2011   #1
What matters most to you and why?

I found walking intriguing when I was eight. Every day after school, I went for a walk on the playground, rap by rap, thinking about what happened that day and planning for the next day. Before making big decisions, I will also walk for a long time to think about the pros and cons. In addition, walking can always make me calm down when I am under much pressure.

My family love hiking. Whenever we have time, we always go hiking in the mountains or on the grasslands. Waking with out feet, we enjoy a lot of beautiful scenes-these are what we will miss if we take a car. Of course, without mobile phones and computers, we sometimes get into trouble. Two years ago, when my father and I hiked on the Hulunbuir Grassland, my left toe was injured when I was trying to jump over a stream. With only simple treat,I went on again, despite the great pain. Five days later we finally arrived at a hospital and the doctor told me that I could not walk for the next 2 months. Though it was really a bad news, I was not very upset because I felt I became much stronger.

Life is like walking. Slow but steadily, I do not miss any beautiful things in the way. I addition, the trouble I meet steels my will. Although this way seems to be endless, with a clear goal, I will never lose heart. Walking is what matters to me, and I will keep walking till the end of my life.

Please feel free to say what you think! Thanks!

deremifri 9 / 135  
Dec 28, 2011   #2
Your conclusion is ok, but the rest lacks focus.
You just tell something how you often walk, sometimes redundant "Waking with out feet" how else would you walk,
and I don't understand why walking is important to you. Walking can calm everybody down when they are under pressure.
You have to focus maybe more on the metaphorical aspects of walking, taking life slow, enjoying it and so on.

If you got time, please tell me your opinion on the essay on the bottom of the Movie essay page,
OP JackShi 1 / 2  
Dec 28, 2011   #3
So then it's about life but not about walking right?
deremifri 9 / 135  
Dec 28, 2011   #4
The problem is that your prompt is what matters to you? A good answer is always somehow about life
There is the possibility that your essay will look more as an activity essay about walking.
To be honest walking is probably not the best topic for this prompt, unless you have something very original
and compelling.
OP JackShi 1 / 2  
Dec 28, 2011   #5
All right, I understand. Thank you very much!


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