Unanswered [9] | Urgent [0]

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2

I've always wanted to be an astronaut. UGRAD

Camilabido 6 / 11  
Dec 31, 2018   #1

fascinated with space exploration

I've always wanted to be an astronaut. I know, it sounds strange, as I am studying Diplomacy and International Services. But, I've been fascinated with space exploration. It is the aspect of discovery that I think leaves me engrossed every time.

Here on earth, as I have yet not even able to reach beyond the sky, I've carried that exploration mindset. Living in a state of discovery has helped me reach the most important accomplishments of my life. During my internship at the Social Policy Coordination Cabinet of the Vice-presidency of the Dominican Republic, I was given assignments that meant being thrown into a complete unknown. With no clue how to proceed, as a 19-year-old doesn't normally write public policy for the State in her spare time, I jumped to a scary start. Reading, and performing research every day, I was able to discover different ways in which we live out and experience the social structure in all its dimensions, and how our interaction with it defines how close or far we are to reach a state of well-being. Doing so, allowed me to turn in my assignments successfully and exceed the expectations of those who gave them to me.

Beyond intellectual theory, I carry my curiosity to the mundane. It is my fascination for the phenomena found in the everyday life that allows me to build with the resources around me, by enabling me to see them.

UGRAD would be an incredible experience for me. On the academic side, I will be able to grow my love for research and, to extents that are not possible here, explore new concepts that will help me better understand social life, and all the ways in which can move things around in order to make it work better. On the mundane, experiencing a different culture, streets, and language, will allow me to learn more about aspects of the human experience that haven't been written about, but very much play a role in the way that we interact between communities.

As an exchange student, I would go into the unknown. But my experiences have demonstrated that when thrown into a new environment, I'm able to thrive and make good use of my new findings to further our state as a whole. Being an exchange student it's like figuring out that your neighbor has very fertile soil on his backyard, so you go and plant him a beautiful garden; and when the flowers bloom, you take some and propagate them in your own home. Making two beautiful gardens out of a mind of discovery and good use of resources. I feel the opportunities I've had in my life have equipped me to fulfill my desire to find new things that I can use to create a community anew. Someday, I hope to do that on Mars, but as of now, a new country will do.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,297 3340  
Jan 4, 2019   #2
Camila, your essay lacks a direct reference to reasons that you will make a good candidate. These considerations would be on a personal, academic, and other interests basis. Your essay is extremely creative in presentation but fails to deliver actual evidence of your strengths that would help to create the idea that you would make a good candidate for the UGrad program. Every presentation in your essay is more theoretical and imaginative in presentation, thus leaving the reviewer to wonder what actual strengths you have that will make you a good candidate for the program. Also, you are focused on what you can gain from the program, but you neglect to inform the reviewer about what your participation in the program will bring. What benefits will your joining the program bring to the participants? How do you plan to be an instrument of international relations and diplomacy during your time with the program? You are missing out on presenting the reasons that qualify you based on your interests in Diplomacy and International Services.

Home / Undergraduate / I've always wanted to be an astronaut. UGRAD