Hello! I need your help. Please give me some advice to improve the essay,including the grammatical errors.
Any useful advice is welcomed! Thanks in advance!
Prompt: Write about an experience in which you encountered a tension between personal freedom and community standards. Discuss the experience and the underlying issues; how did you deal with the tension, and whether or not there was a satisfactory resolution.
The middle school I attended is strict both academically and socially. Every student is required to wear the school uniform during school time. Undoubtedly, the rule benefits students since uniforms can enhance team awareness and reduce comparison economically among students. Meanwhile, however, negative aspects of the stipulation annoy many students, including me.
In the elementary school, no one had forced me to wear the school uniform and the liberal environment there gave me ample room for self-expression through dress and manner. However, on the first day of middle school, the principal announced the must-wear-uniform rule. The community standards made me quite unhappy since it would be hard for me to wear whatever clothes I want and to better how my personality.
Before long, I regained the hope because the school would change the clothes policy, as I perceive it, if the majority of students opposed the rule (which is what I had expected). It seemed all I need to do was conform my perception and write a letter to the principal, persuading him to revise the uniform policy. As a monitor, I made a questionnaire with other peers and carried out an investigation among the freshmen of whether one needs to wear school uniform at school. Much out of our expectation, no party prevailed. Students were almost divided half by half concerning the uniform policy.
I realized, then, that there was no definite answer to that problem of whether to wear the school uniform; also, it seemed unnecessary to change the regulation according to everyone's benefits. Since the rule did not have to be revised, I tried to adapt myself to it. Although many years have passed, I can still remember that experience in middle school since strict rules there made me more disciplined and tolerant.
Here is another short "why essay"
Prompt: Why are you applying to Haverford? (No more than 200 characters)
From the liberal primary school to the diverse high school, I have been learning in schools known for respect and trust, which have shaped me. Haverford is a place where I will find these traits.
Any useful advice is welcomed! Thanks in advance!
Prompt: Write about an experience in which you encountered a tension between personal freedom and community standards. Discuss the experience and the underlying issues; how did you deal with the tension, and whether or not there was a satisfactory resolution.
The middle school I attended is strict both academically and socially. Every student is required to wear the school uniform during school time. Undoubtedly, the rule benefits students since uniforms can enhance team awareness and reduce comparison economically among students. Meanwhile, however, negative aspects of the stipulation annoy many students, including me.
In the elementary school, no one had forced me to wear the school uniform and the liberal environment there gave me ample room for self-expression through dress and manner. However, on the first day of middle school, the principal announced the must-wear-uniform rule. The community standards made me quite unhappy since it would be hard for me to wear whatever clothes I want and to better how my personality.
Before long, I regained the hope because the school would change the clothes policy, as I perceive it, if the majority of students opposed the rule (which is what I had expected). It seemed all I need to do was conform my perception and write a letter to the principal, persuading him to revise the uniform policy. As a monitor, I made a questionnaire with other peers and carried out an investigation among the freshmen of whether one needs to wear school uniform at school. Much out of our expectation, no party prevailed. Students were almost divided half by half concerning the uniform policy.
I realized, then, that there was no definite answer to that problem of whether to wear the school uniform; also, it seemed unnecessary to change the regulation according to everyone's benefits. Since the rule did not have to be revised, I tried to adapt myself to it. Although many years have passed, I can still remember that experience in middle school since strict rules there made me more disciplined and tolerant.
Here is another short "why essay"
Prompt: Why are you applying to Haverford? (No more than 200 characters)
From the liberal primary school to the diverse high school, I have been learning in schools known for respect and trust, which have shaped me. Haverford is a place where I will find these traits.
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