I went through some small personal difficulties as a 5 year old and onward through my late twenties. As young as twelve they sent me to get testing done at the hospital because they thought I had a learning disability. I had a difficult time because my classes were not going well in school.The schools I've attended were very high achieving in standardized testing and Advance placement tests, the general population of students that were geared towards an Ivy League education. They were not meant for me to attend.There were so many restrictions on what I could and could not take. I felt so trapped and guilty for not being able to get through the system. It made me depressed and feel alone. The feelings from my high school and middle school life were not dealt with until I was an adult. It was difficult to sort out the problems in my life. It's important to me because I have never quite gotten the education I always wanted. Making new changes to my life and adapting to my adult life was the scariest step.
It took me quite a bit of perseverance, courage and effort to jump over these particular obstacles to get me where I am today. My first step was to apply at a community college to obtain the core requirements for bachelors in science. I wanted to pursue a health care profession. I began at a small school in Illinois for a year and built up a good amount core credits. I transferred to Austin community college and had my mind set on transferring and attending a Texas school. Now, as I grow into my adult body and the pain that school left behind becomes tolerable, everyday going through semester after semester of my undergraduate at a local community college. It took effort,positivity, and a single thought that life will get better and more stable after college. I believe that everyone is entitled to fair treatment regardless of how they learn. It's the ideals behind the person that makes them into who they really are.These negative experiences have changed what values are really important to me. It's personally shaped me in becoming more humane, compassionate, focused, equal to just about everyone, a harder worker, funny, tolerant, better thinker, and stronger and better person inside. It's my consistency, strive, and drive that always improved the outcome in just about every good or bad situation that I was thrown in. I saw myself in the unhappy state of being left behind without knowing that I have a passion to better myself and the community in which I live in. I want to grow as a person. I knew that there was more to this world beyond my initial restrictions. I now have the opportunity to explore the world without restrictions with the help of an education from the University of Texas.
What's the exact question you're answering here?
Also, what's the length requirement?
This has its moments but it's quite a lot longer than it needs to be.
I'll be glad to help you with the grammar (which will solve the problem I mentioned above) but I first want to ensure that you've addressed the prompt completely and thoroughly.
It's what I have for the personal essay application for UT. It's probably not good enough, but I've been editing and revising. Could you please help me with grammar.
E. Personal essay
Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or intentional in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation
Here is what I have. Anyone willing to take a look at this and revising and editing it?
I had a learning disability. I had a difficult time because my classes were not going well in school. The schools I've attended were very high achieving in standardized testing and Advance placement tests, the general population of students that were geared towards an Ivy League education. They were not meant for me to attend. There were so many restrictions on what I could and could not take. From 2005 to 2011 I was placed into 2 vocational programs that I did not want to be in. I was put in a trade school to become a medical assistant right after high school. Several years later I was put into the pace program. It was a vocational school for kids with multiple learning disabilities. There were some days where I did not feel like I belonged. I felt so trapped and guilty for not being able to get through the system and not able to make my own decisions. It made me depressed and feel alone. The feelings from my high school, middle school and the two vocational programs were not dealt with until I was an adult. It was difficult to sort out the problems in my life. It's important to me because I have never quite gotten the education I always wanted. Making new changes to my life and adapting to the freedom of actually having an adult life was the scariest step.
It took me quite a bit of perseverance, courage and effort to jump over these particular obstacles to get me where I am today. My first step was to apply at a community college to obtain the core requirements for bachelors in science. I wanted to pursue a health care profession. I began at a small school in Illinois for a year and built up a good amount core credits. I transferred to Austin community college and had my mind set on transferring and attending a Texas school. Now, as I grow into my adult body and the pain that school left behind becomes tolerable, everyday going through semester after semester of my undergraduate at a local community college. It took effort, positivity, and a single thought that life will get better and more stable after college. I believe that everyone is entitled to fair treatment regardless of how they learn. It's the ideals behind the person that makes them into who they really are. These negative experiences have changed what values are really important to me. It's personally shaped me in becoming more humane, compassionate, focused, equal to just about everyone, a harder worker, funny, tolerant, better thinker, and stronger and better person inside. It's my consistency, strive, and drive that always improved the outcome in just about every good or bad situation that I was thrown in. I saw myself in the unhappy state of being left behind without knowing that I have a passion to better myself and the community in which I live in. I want to grow as a person. I knew that there was more to this world beyond my initial restrictions. I now have the opportunity to explore the world without restrictions with the help of an education from the University of Texas.
The opening and closing sentences in both paragraphs sound typical and boring. Make sure they're very original and unique as if wisdom jumps from them but concise and understandable.
You have a very good topic and strong idea going with your application but you're thinking way to broad and giving a life story about all the problems you've had.
A lot of good stuff about yourself but the reader can't pinpoint what is the core foundation of who you are. There are too many things you listed and no specific defining experience that set it all but a bunch of mishaps in your childhood education with no good ending either. UT is a very good school system and people are very strong academically as well as confident individuals if not slightly pretentious.
It needs a lot of work. Just keep editing and playing with phrases and sentences.
Short, concise, STRONG and emotional mature on the most significant event in your life that affected your education...good or bad and the aftermath of how you improved or capitalized on it.
You have several more edits to go.
Make sure you fit in.
I'm having trouble trying to edit it. Maybe suggestions on what to put it? Where to put it?
Everyone has different way of learning. Some students are strong academically and others perform better with hands. Every person has their own obstacles and how you overcome them that makes you into you are.
The most significant change in my life that affected my education is when I was diagnosed with a learning disability. I was five years old and my first grade teacher always notice; she noticed and took action. I constantly got up and made disruption throughout the day. I was tested for learning disabilities due to the difficulties I was having in learning the basic concepts. I was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder and assigned to special classes to help me learn at my pace and to master various concepts throughout my grade school years.
It took me quite a bit of perseverance, courage and effort to jump over these particular obstacles to get me where I am today. My first step was to apply at a community college to obtain the core requirements for bachelors in science. I wanted to pursue a health care profession. I began at a small school in Illinois for a year and built up a good amount core credits. I transferred to Austin Community College, and had my mind set on transferring and attending University of Texas. With further education and some work experience, the pain of those years I endured have made me stronger. It took effort with returning to school with effort and positivity . I believe that everyone is entitled to fair opportunity seems more positive. It's the ideals behind the person that makes them into who they really are. These negative experiences have changed what values are really important to me. It's personally shaped me in becoming more focused and driven. Every semester I would see students who start off and ending up not passing. The value of being focused and driven has paid off. It turned out to be my biggest strength. I would come out with better grades than they did. I became a better thinker. A history class taught me there are numerous ways to look at a subject and have your own definition. I became the strong and fearless person from this experience. It has made me tough and able to make strides in academics even if I'm a little concerned if I can get through the curriculum. My years at the vocational program after high school, and the 3 internships really shaped me into finally pursing an academic career. It guided me into the world of a health profession.
It's my consistency, strive, and drive that always improved the outcome in just about every good or bad situation that I was thrown in. I saw myself in the unhappy state of being left behind without knowing that I have a passion to better myself and the community in which I live in. I want to grow as a person. I knew that there was more to this world beyond my initial restrictions. I now have the opportunity to explore the world without limitations with the help of an education from the University of Texas.
