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My work experience - is it too cheesy to write about my lame job at McDonalds?



daniellecurtis5 2 / 3  
Dec 30, 2014   #1
Describe an extracurricular or work experience. (for Vanderbilt-supposed to be 200-400 words, mine is 335)

The incessant sound of the fryer buzzer quickly yanked me from my moments daze and brought me back to the greasy, messy reality that was my quaint little McDonalds. As I wearily looked up from the fry strewn floor to the empty lobby, that usually accompanied closing shifts, I noticed that the garbage in the lobby was over flowing. Too tired to care, I ignored the mess and trudged over to the fryer to lift the fries. It was a busy night at McDonald's. I was four hours into an eight-hour shift, wondering how I could keep working until 12 am and still pass my biology test the next morning. Nights like these at McDonald's took a particularly heavy toll on my body; sometimes in my drained state of mind I even considered quitting. I had only applied for the job in order to fund a trip to Costa Rica that I longed to take that summer. However, summer had come and gone and yet I still found my self at McDonald's four days out of the week.

Even though I had struggled to find a balance between my work and my academics, I had come to love my job. It took some time and effort, but soon I was able to switch seamlessly from Big Macs to biology. The part I love most about my job at McDonald's is that it fosters my need to keep learning. Even when you think you know everything there is to know about what your job entails, there is always more to learn. Learning how to make a Big Mac and how to operate the cash registers were simply the basics. It is skills such as patience and the ability to work under pressure that were the hardest to master.

When I applied to McDonald's I simply wanted a paycheck. However, now I am grateful for everything I have learned throughout my many months there. Somehow it has made all those long, late night shifts seem worthwhile.

Arachnid 3 / 14  
Dec 30, 2014   #2
I think it is fine to write about McDonalds.

I enjoyed how the job has helped you learn and mature, however your opening is slightly dull. Maybe talk about rush hour? Where you're doing more than just being tired and daydreaming? Talk about the pressure you mentioned in the last paragraph and describe the detail and work you needed to learn in order to cope.

Don't sound lazy or selfish. You can mention that you thought of giving up and had a struggle to overcome it.

I'm not an expert so keep in mind that this is just my opinion.

So far it has potential. Keep at it!
vangiespen - / 4077  
Dec 30, 2014   #3
I suggest that you look back upon your work experience at McDonald's with a sense of gratitude and appreciation from the very beginning. Doing so will make it appear like you truly enjoyed your work at the fast-food place even though you did not in reality. The point is that this kind of essay requires you to present a positive aspect of your extra curricular activity. Pointing out the life lessons you learned that you can take with you to help you cope with your college studies. If you present the work activity in a boring or negative light, your essay will not really get a welcoming reception from the admissions officers.
DinoRules 5 / 14  
Dec 30, 2014   #4
There are no lame topics, but lame writings. :) And I'm really drawn into your first paragraph, and I can picture in mind your working condition. However, no matter what essay, the main purpose is to show yourself to the AO, which means to put your light in the writing. So I suggest you consider writing more about the moment of the attitude change. Below are a few questions I would want to know were I an admission officer:

#What motivated you to start to appreciate your work?
#How did it influence you in your, for example, academic performance or attitude toward adversities?
#Why sets the job apart from your other EC & Interns?


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