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"Working on a campaign and experiencing business" --Georgetown McDonough School Essay



frankfink 2 / 2  
Oct 29, 2011   #1
This a draft of my essay for the Gtown business school, any constructive criticism and/or edits would be greatly appreciated! Thank you to everyone in advance!

Briefly describe the factors that have influenced your interest in studying business. (McDonough School)

The business world is constantly fast-paced and unpredictable. While this is a burden and a drawback to some, it is in this sort of environment that I function most productively. Whether it be the last few lines of a calculus problem or the resolving notes of a tune on the piano, I find it consistently impossible for me to leave a problem unanswered. Our country, now more than ever, has many unanswered questions that lie ahead for it in the near future, and good business is most always at the heart of those unfound solutions.

I remember not much more than a year ago when I was working under my mother's congressional campaign manager. I had the normal tasks of an intern: scheduling meetings, taking notes, soliciting funds, and the like. However, I wanted to push myself to do more, to come up with the ideas that would help the campaign reach more voters and leave greater lasting impact. We aptly referred to those ideas as the "monkey-makers." It was never my job to create a website and Facebook page for the campaign, nor was it my given duty to hike up and down every row of cars in every San Diego parking lot placing flyers underneath windshield wipers. These were simply my ideas, and when I think up an idea that I believe to have some value, I do anything in my power to put it to the test. This was the spirit I kept with me every morning I spent knocking door-to-door or making calls to voters.

I've been called a perfectionist, certainly, and I can accept this aspect of my personality in most cases. However, it is not the reasoning behind my passion for business. The beauty of working in this field, in my opinion, would be the ability to see the application and effects my work and my ideas in the real world, effectively bringing about successful change in some of the most trying times our country has ever seen. I believe that, with education from Georgetown and experience from Washington D.C., one of the world's most important cities of business, I could fulfill my desire to think of the unthought of, test the untested, and solve the unsolved.

amanda guo 5 / 8  
Oct 31, 2011   #2
+
*I like your introduction it really catches reader's attention.
*The last sentence is great!
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*seldom leak of cohesion and sometimes a reader loses the track


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