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Write about someone who has impacted your life and why ("My mother")

gabbyninja 1 / 1  
Sep 8, 2009   #1
We are supposed to write an essay about someone who has impacted our lives.

I know its not all that great, but its all could come up with in 20 minutes. At the moment its still a rough draft, so I would love to hear from you before I write my final essay.

Those who truly know us for who we are, are the people that have the most influence in our lives, such as our parents. In my case, it is my mother who has greatly impacted my life. She has stood beside me through thick and thin. I know that as long as she is here on this earth, she will stand beside me to love and support me unconditionally as she has done all these years. It is becasue of her that I am who I am today. Behind my choices, my character, my values, and behind me, proudly stands my mother.

All throughout my chilhood I have been closer to my mom than I am to my father. She has been an amazing friend to me, but an even better parental figure. Laying down the rules for me and establishing boundaries when needed. It is because of the love and respect I have for my mother that I am now cautious of the choices I make. I cherish her approval and fear her disappointment in me. I feel confident that all the life lessons she has taught me and the advice she has given me, will continue to shape my standards and values in life.

Coming from a tradional Catholic family, she raised me and my siblings the way my grandmother raised her. I have been taught that honesty, integrity, hard work, and respect should be constituted into daily living. And that to get what we want in life, we have to earn it.

Although I wasn't brought up in a life of splendor, I acknowledge that I live a comfortable lifestyle due to the the hard work and effort my parents have put into life. Their perseverance is an example I want to follow. My mom with the help of my dad, has exceed the expectations others had of her. Coming from a poor family from Central America, and with very little education, she moved to the United States with one goal in mind, and that was to make a better way of life for herself. And she did, both of my parents at one point owned their own separate successful businesses. With that, they were able to provide my siblings and I, luxuries that others didnt have. And for that I am extremely grateful to them.

Now that I am old enough to understand that my mother was able to overcome adversity, and accomplish all that she has, inspires me everyday to make myself a better person. I greatly admire her strength and strong will, and I am extremely proud to be her daughter. And in my mother's words, " we only get one chance to live our lives, so it is up to us to take what we have and move forward in life. Our future is not set in stone, we create the path of our own destiny."

EF_Simone [Moderator] 2 / 2,049  
Sep 8, 2009   #2
I know its not all that great, but its all could come up with in 20 minutes.

Was there some sort of 20 minute limit in effect?

That said, choosing a parent for this prompt places you at a disadvantage, as this is the most common choice. If you are going to write about a parent and would like your essay to stand out from the crowd, you will need to write vividly and have something unique to point out about this particular parent, understanding that virtually all of the parents in essays encourage their children to do well, model a strong work ethic, sacrifice themselves to care for their children, etc., etc.

So: Your introduction has to go. It's dull and in no way introduces either you or your mother as a distinct individual any different from the scores of other students and mothers in the essays your readers will be wading through.
EF_Sean [Moderator] 6 / 3,576  
Sep 8, 2009   #3
Yeah, I'd strongly urge you to pick someone else to talk about. Maybe you have a sibling, friend, or teacher you could choose (none of these are that original, either, but at least they're better picks than a parent). Or maybe you had a chance encounter with a stranger or acquaintance that impacted your life. That would likely be much more interesting.

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