Yale's perfectly fitting curriculum and support system; Engineering

Please help correct, anything is appreciated!!!

I am 6 years old in the back of the car with my dad. He is drilling me on times tables and he tries to best my juevinile brain, but to no avail. "Alright," he says "let's try something more challenging. Square roots." I give him a puzzled but enthusiastic look. I ask for an example and am ready for the questions to begin. I understand right away. Everyone in the car is shocked but I just assumed it was normal. Not until I returned to school did I realize that abnormality of my situation. The surprised looks upon my teacher and classmates faces when I was easily able to answer almost any math question they could think of was the first time I realized I was good at math; not only did I find out that I was good at math, but discovering a passion for it.

My passion for math has evolved into a love of designing, building, and thinking/solving problems. Because of this, I have chosen to pursue many different activities that nurture this intrigue. Throughout high school, I have participated in the Technology Student Association and compete in their Architecture Renovation and Technology Problem Solving competitions; even placing third at the state level in the latter. In addition to taking Computer Science, Technology and Design and AutoCAD as electives to help learn more about all aspects of engineering, I have also placed second at both the Great Bridge Building Competition and Thomas Edison Design Challenge. I have also contributed to a C++ program writing team for ZeroRobotics and voluntarily redesigned one of the elementary school playground layout as a part of a group. All of these activities foster the creativity and mathematical and analytical aspect of engineering and as I have greatly enjoyed them, I believe engineering would be an excellent fit for me.

As one of the most prestigious schools, Yale offers more than a degree in engineering. It offers life skills through course requirements outside the intended major which I believe is extremely important in an evolving society where such skills are desperately lacking and I could personally benefit from. Throughout my six years of high school and college level math, I have come to understand that the smaller the class the more accessible the teacher is. Yale fits to my learning needs perfectly with this with its 6:1 student teacher ratio. Overall, Yale's perfectly fitting curriculum and support system as well as it's ability to foster my creativity makes it an ideal choice for me to continue my education.

Just a reminder that colleges don't want you to brag about what you have done or accomplished, or list your activities and honors, because these are already listed in other places in your application. This essay is supposed to reflect something that those titles and honors do not SHOW, so maybe in the second paragraph, instead of saying I did this and that, I was awesome and brilliant, why don't you pick one of those experiences and expand on another aspect of it that truely affected you and guided you to the decision that you wanted to be an engineer. Something that fascinated you? Something that changed your way of looking at an everyday aspect of life? It could be anything, really. This is just my perspective.

The first paragraph is also a bit cocky; however it's more personal, which is good. Some things you may want to correct/rephrase:

"Not only did I realize the abnormality..."

"was the first time I realized I was good at math; not only did I find out that I was good at math, but discovering a passion for it."---> There's repetition and a grammar mistake here. Try "... was the first time I realized that I was not only exceptionally gifted in math, but I was also developing a strong passion for it".

I hope this helps! I'm no expert, in fact I'm an international applying for undergraduate studies very soon also :) Good luck to us all!