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Toefl; Ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard



marmaria 10 / 30  
Sep 4, 2013   #1
There are lots of arguments that the educational systems pay more attention to academic issues rather than improving social interaction of the students. I believe in order to hold a successful career, besides having necessary knowledge in the working field, we should be able to handle a good relation with our coworkers; and school is the best place where we can learn this ability.

First, communication with other people in the society is a really important factor. The main goal of building societies was to survive. It does not matter how much talented you are, you would not be able to go along difficulties of life without the assistance of other members of the society, because you are not able to handle every aspect of your life. This can be referred to the work life too. In your work place, even if you are the best knowledged and talented person, you need the help of other people to achieve a goal. Take my father as an example, who is a really successful businessman. He always tells us that in order to have a good business you should try to collect a group of workers together and try to make them to feel as a team.

Second, cooperation with other workers would help us to improve our knowledge and performance. In a work place where the entire employees have good relation with each other the atmosphere would be friendly. And all the workers would try their best to improve the quality of the work as a whole, rather than thinking to making their own duty perfect. For example, I had worked in a company where all the workers had a good relation with each other, for instance we all ate our launch together, even our boss used to sit with his employee during lunch time. Taking the advantage of this friendly work place, I earned so much experience in that place that I am still using them in my life. Because instead of thinking of works as individual duties, their aim was to show the best performance of the whole group.

In conclusion, I think in order to be a successful worker, we should pay as much attention to our knowledge as to our relation with our coworkers. I cannot say that which one is more important, but I think they both influence person's performance and should be paid attention.

ramshah 11 / 27  
Sep 4, 2013   #2
even if you are the best knowledged and talented person
even if you are the best knowledgeable and talented person

I don't see your reasons and explanation about "why school is the best place where we can learn this ability (to handle a good relation with our coworkers)."
dumi 1 / 6793  
Sep 13, 2013   #3
There are lots of arguments that the educational systems pay more attention to academic issuesprogress of the students rather than improving social networking for them.

we should be able to handle a good relations with our coworkers

we should be able to maintain sound relationships with our coworkers.

The main goal of building societies was to survive.

... this is a confusing line, your idea is not conveyed properly. You better improve this sentence.
congchop 7 / 9  
Sep 13, 2013   #4
dumi
Thanks for showing mistakes. It helps me very much
MisterWandering 18 / 314  
Sep 13, 2013   #5
go along difficulties

overcome difficulties

because you are not able to handle every aspect of your life

this part is not necessary.

best knowledged and most talented

He always tells us that in order to have a good business you should try to collect a group of workers together and try to make them to feel as a team.

It is not clear how others help him achive a goal.

had worked

launch

lunch

they both influence person's performance and should be paid attention.

If you think both of these factors influence a person's performance, why did you just mention the impact of cooperation with others?


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