academic writing course "compare social science and natural since"

hi everyone!
i had to write a short essay on the following topic:
"It can be argued that society as a whole benefits from the work of all its citizens. Consider the contributions made to our society by both the Social Sciences and the Natural Sciences; to what extent are these contributions valued equally? Give reasons and examples to support your ideas."

could you do me a favor and have a look at the introduction, i wrote?

"If you decide to enroll at a university, you have to decide what kind of science you want to study. Whichever course you decide to take, you will probably believe that this branch of science represents an important contribution to society. Naturally it is the spirit and purpose of science to contribute to the progress of the world. However, which science could claim itself to be the most influential one? And how could we scale the value of science?

The continual striving for progress and further development shapes the history of humanity from its beginning. Antiquity represents the first peak of science and research and the achievements made in science and philosophy by the ancient Greeks have been immensely influential on the modern world. Already Aristoteles, the Greek philosopher tried to classify the branches of science, describing science as either practical, poetical or theoretical. Science (from Latin scientia, meaning "knowledge") has divided up in a wide variety of branches over time. Nowadays we usually distinguish between formal, humanistic and natural science."

thanks a lot!

dictate/determine. (You shouldn't repeat the word 'decide')



have immensely influenced on the modern world

I think this is quite long and overdetailed for the introduction of a 'short essay'. Also, the introduction should be written in only one paragraph to make sure your essay is clearly structured.

thanks a lot for the hints!
i replaced the "decide"s and corrected the other stuff...

about the lenghts of the introductuion:
the first paragraph is the introduction, the sencond one is more a kind of a bridge to the following discussion/comparison of the two branches of science... i hope this makes sense?!

However, which science, natural or social , could claim to be the one that makes more meaningful contributions to our society?
I guess it is better you give the reader a brief introduction about these two types of sciences and how they differ from one another at the start. You cannot expect every reader has that knowledge and it is your duty to educate them on the concepts that you are going to tackle.