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IELTS Academic Writing Task 2: OPINIONS ABOUT GOVERNMENT FUNDING OF ARTISTS.


ARIA 16 / 43 1  
Sep 13, 2013   #1
Some people think that government should give financial support for creative artists such as musicians and painters. Others think that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different views on whether it is wise decision to spend public money for art and artists. Some believe that government need to invest on art, while others think they have other priorities such as health, education and security. Although, there are good arguments in favor of both views I believe investment on art should be done by both public and private supports.

Art is as an important element of the culture. As one of the government's legacies is to promote cultural promotion and its value in society, investment on art and those who create it is an important pace taken for that society. Government can develop facilities for education and training of artists, provide facilities for their performance or exhibitions, or invest on projects for creation of artistic products. In each country there are artifacts that are well known as national symbol, such as Eiffel Tower in France or Statue of Liberty in United States. Without public funding, creating of these monuments was on doubt.

On the other side of the debate, there are those who believe government has other important issues such as health, education, or security. Investing money on cultural issues before advancing on those essential priorities is just wasting the materials. Moreover, they also argue that the art is considered as a profession and artists like others who have jobs should find their own client and sell their products to those who are interested.

Put in a nutshell, there are good reasons in both sides of spending public or private money on art and artists, but I believe in an average society art as cultural element need to be supported by both public and private sectors.
muffle 3 / 12  
Sep 14, 2013   #2
These are some of my opinions. Hope this helps. I recommend you should write the third paragraph again.

Some believe that government need to invest on art

You might consider using invest instead of fund. They are a bit different.

while others think they have other priorities such as health, education and security.

The idea is right here but not what the topic gives. I suppose it should be "Others think that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources."

The #3 paragraph seems to be underdeveloped and the topic sentence should be something about alternative sources instead government have other priorities.
septem1821 3 / 24 7  
Sep 14, 2013   #3
1) 'while others think they have other priorities such as health, education and security'--------------- in introduction
2)On the other side of the debate, there are those who believe government has other important issues such as health, education, or security. Investing money on cultural issues before advancing on those essential priorities is just wasting the materials. Moreover, they also argue that the art is considered as a profession and artists like others who have jobs should find their own client and sell their products to those who are interested.--------------the second para are not related to the given task.

They asked whether creative artists should be supported by governments or alternative sources but you wrote '' what will happen if government spend money on artists''.

sorry, if it doesn't help you.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Sep 15, 2013   #4
People have different views on whether it isa wise decision to spend public money for art and artists

Start your introduction with a good hook that can grab the reader's attention. It should also be relevant to your topic. Then discuss the background of the issue as you did above. If the hook is present, this is a very good introduction :)

As one of the government's legacies is to promote cultural promotion and its value in society

... first "promote" makes the second "promotion" redundant.

Without public funding, creating of these monuments was on doubt.

Without public funding and support, creation of such great works would have not been possible.
OP ARIA 16 / 43 1  
Sep 18, 2013   #5
Thanks guys.
First of all you are right, I needed to put "alternative sources" instead of " health and education" in introduction.
In my second Para, I think I discussed the view and also gave an example for "alternative sources".
An especial thanks for "dumi" your blue sentence , was the one that I was looking for.
Aria


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