The amount of four different kinds of food used by people in an European nation from 1979 to 2004

Writing task 1: the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
Answer:

The line graph provides the amount of four different kinds of food used by people in a European nation from 1979 to 2004.
Overall, it is clear that beef, lamb and fish decreased in consumption, while there was a fluctuating growth in the figure for chicken. In addition, fish was the least commonly food in the Europe throughout the period shown.

At the start of period, the expenditure of beef was the highest value which over 200 grams. The amount of chicken and lamb was lower, by below 150 grams compares with exactly 150 grams, respectively. However, fish was the lowest product that eaten by roughly 60 grams per person per week.

In the 1979-2004 period, the country used a significantly increase of chicken, approximately 250 grams. Whereas, only over 60 grams of lamb and 50 grams of fish were eaten in 2004. After many fluctuations, beef reached the highest point of the whole graph by above 240 grams in 1984, before dropping gradually to 100 grams at the final figure.

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This is a very well developed academic report that clearly understands its target audience. In an impressive 171 words, you managed to deliver an insightful and creative data presentation based on the given data. The problem is that the interesting data presentation has horrible GRA problems that could affect the final score. I guess I have to get into specifics so that I can better help you out.

For starters, the food listing presented was not "used", it was consumed. To use means to put into action or service. To consume, which refers to food, means to eat or drink especially in great quantity. See the difference? Errors in word usage like this will not only harm you GRA in terms of sentence accuracy, but also your LR score because you misused the term in the sentence.

There is a lacking verb in the following sentence:

... fish was the least commonly food in the Europe throughout the period shown.

Commonly what? Commonly eaten? Commonly enjoyed? The descriptive word which also acts as the verb needs to be indicated here.

You should always use the connecting word "the" in sentences that require it such as; "At the start of THE period." Also, it is not "the expenditure of beef", expenditure is the wrong term. The proper term to use is "consumption". Your synonyms need to play on the word "consumer" in this essay.

No present tense such as "compares" can be used in this essay due to the past time reference. "Compares" should be "compared" Why did you use the term respectively in this sentence? There was no comparison between two items in the same sentence that would have required that word such as "beef and were 120 and 250 grams, respectively."

You do not "used a significantly increased chicken..." You "see an increase in chicken..."

Your essay would have received at least a 5 overall for this presentation if the LR and GRA problems did not significantly decrease the scoring potential of your reporting essay.

You should improve the grammar. Remember doubled check your essay.
And I think in p4, you should put information more logical. Because the consumption of beef is the highest in 1984, it should mention before "a significantly increase of chicken"