Facing up your fear is said to be the better way rather than escaping it
. This ideology is something that influenced myself to conquer one of my anxieties- to speak and write using the English language.
In our country, Philippines, the utilization of English as a second language has come into point that every Filipino is yet fond patronizing much it knowing its benefits towards them are greatly encouraging and worth spending effort for. But learning it is quite hard especially when there is extremely no interest to merely urge ourselves to be diligent and patient upon attaining the highest level of learning-COMPREHENSION- as well as using the language pertinent to the grammar's rules. For me, it is still not enough that I've just mastered it in terms of writing without understanding during discourse. Speaking English is complex and it is my weak point. Sometimes there comes to a scenario while I was watching English movies,it really happened that some of its occurrences were confusing due the characters spoke the language differently as in so difficult to comprehend. I just thought what if one time I meet an American citizen and eventually we are having a conversation, does he/she could understand my way of speaking or could I able to get easily whatever he/she would put across?
Genuinely, this is my fear. Nevertheless, I have to face it up courageously. Another reason why I am so awkward to speak English is that in our nation, grammar is vehemently prioritized than understanding, particularly when studying at school. So, either of the two macro skills, speaking and writing, use the language grammatically correct because if not someone will definitely notice it though there is fluency of language usage. I am afraid to be corrected(it feels like a sort of humiliation). I do not want to see anyone, mostly those who are educated, smiling, not known to me, I was already committed mistakes. This truly hinders me to be fluently an English speaker.
Getting my fear goes, I am now taking up a degree in education mastering English language. Even gradual, I can come up well just by continue striving to gain more improvements. Of all types of quest, this is the one which has taught me to bear in mind and make as one of my educational philosophy this line, "Nothing is complicated when you are determined to do your will." My will is plain but I initially took it not. It is positive but I made it not, too. Just grateful when I sternly fronted it, made me realized the error I've done. Fearing it is totally my wrong. This is my anxiety beyond my quest!!