Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS - do arts and music improve the quality of life?



yoyolo 5 / 13  
May 29, 2011   #1
6. Many people think arts and music do not improve the quality of life, and the government should spent money on other things rather than the arts such as music and painting, to what extent agree or disagree?

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------
My view is that the government should give priorities to invest more money on the basic social welfares such as education and housing instead of subsidizing arts relative programs.

Art is not the key determination of quality of life, but education is. In order to make people better off, it is more urgent for governments to commit money to some fundamental help such as setting more scholarships in education section for all citizens. This is simply because knowledge and wisdom is the guarantee of the enhancement of the quality of people's lives for a well-rounded social system.

Admittedly, art, to some extent, serve a valuable function about enriching one's daily lives, for example, it could bring release one's heavy burden of study pressure and refresh human bodies through a hard day from work. However, it is unrealistic to pursuit of this high standard of life in many developing countries, in which the basic housing supply has still been a huge problem with plenty of lower income family have squeezed in a small tight room. By comparison to these issues, the pursuit of art seems unimportant at all.

To conclude, art could play an active role in improving the quality of people's lives, but I think that governments should attach heavier weight to other social issues such as education and housing needs because those are the most essential ways enable to make people a decent life.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
May 30, 2011   #2
My view is that the government should give priority to investing more money in the basic social welfares, such as education and housing, instead of subsidizing art programs. ---I made some changes here

You should use the word DETERMINANT. It is not a comonly used word, but it is the best word to use here:
Art is not the key determinant of quality of life, but education is.

In order to make people better off, it is more urgent for governments to commit money to some fundamental help, such as allocating more funds for scholarships in education for all citizens.

This is simply because knowledge and wisdom is the guarantee of the enhancement of the quality of people's lives for a well-rounded social system. ----wow, what a beautifully written sentence this is!

Admittedly, art, to some extent, serves a valuable purpose in enriching one's daily life. For example, it could release one's ...

Ah, I guess I agree with you. Life isnothing without art, but government should allocate funds to education first. :-)


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS - do arts and music improve the quality of life?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳