Toefl ; Who are the best teachers? If parents are able, they should teach them.

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

My response:
Following experiences, I agree with the statement, I believe that children are best taught by parents instead of others, except in cases where parents are not a good influence, but in most of the cases, parents are the mainly teachers.

Firstly because the children are so dependent of their parents; they're close to their mother since the pregnancy and bows of love starts there, it is very important. Children feel more confident and protected with the people they love most. They use to imitate their parents; they follow their examples in almost everything. Parents are patterns to build their starting lives.

In addition to the importance of the bows between parents and children, I met a teenage who felt unloved because his parents did not spend a long time with him. So I think that when parents are teaching, they spend time and shows love. Studies confirm that when parents demonstrate interest in the education and participate on it, their children will be more successful in school and other areas of their lives; they will feel more confident of themselves.

Finally, by my own experiences, parents have more authority to teach and reprehend their children when they make something which is not right. That will not be the same with other teachers. I remember when I was a kid, for some years my parents needed to work and a nanny took care of me. I always respected and heard more my parents than her.

For sure some parents are not as they supposed to be, or they need to work out of home for several reasons. It does not mean that their children will not be taught very well. Nannies and relatives can be very helpful, but it is an exception, not a pattern. If parents are able, they should teach them.

In conclusion, based on the arguments above, my opinion is that in most cases parents are the best teachers and they have the power to let their children more confident and satisfied with life.

I'm not an expert or anything, but i think your Introduction and conclusion paragraphs are really short. Your introduction and conclusion sentences are very long, maybe you should divide them. If you google how to write an introduction paragraph, you will find some very useful articles :)

.... this has some grammar errors;
First, the children are very dependent on their parents. It is a known fact that children develop a great bond between themselves and their mothers from the time that they are in their mother's womb.

dependent on and not depend of


Give more specific examples to support your reasons.