A breakdown of the various difficulties that citizens have when they live in a novel country

A breakdown of the various difficulties that citizens have when they live in a novel country regarding to three different age groups and measured in percentage is illustrated in a bar chart. At first glance it is evident that the problems are faced by majority people aged 35-54 which sorting out healthcare is the most complicated problem.

The essential problem for residents are sorting out healthcare. There is a small gap between people aged 35-54 and over 55 who find healthcare as a problem in their life, by 2%. In contrast, just a few youngest group (18-34 years) experience this problem, at 32%. Another crucial problem for people in the middle group (35-54) is financial, over a third of the total. Likewise, the young people aged 18-34 shows 33%. In this case, the proportion of older age group is the smallest number, at 28%.

Turning to the less important difficulties, finding schools for children. People over 55 years find this easier, a very small number, at about 2%. The youngest group provides three times more of the total than older group. However, middle age group still has the biggest percentage, approximately 20%.

• 
  barchart.jpg
  

Siti, you need to learn to better develop the subject of your paragraphs. The lack of subjects make the paragraphs less informative and portrays you as being disinterested in the topic that you are being made to report on. I provided suggestions and corrections below.

... live in a novel NEW country regarding to BASED ON three ... illustrated in a THE bar chart. At first glance, ... faced by A majority OF people ... which FOR WHOM sorting out healthcare is the most complicated problem.

The essential BIGGEST...residents are IS sorting out ... just a few OF THE youngest group... ... middle AGE group (35-54) ... Likewise, the young people aged 18-34 shows 33%...

- Of what problem?

... of THE older age group is the smallest number, at 28%.

... less important difficulties DIFFICULTY OF , finding schools for children. , People over 55 years, ABOUT 2 PERCENT, find this easier, a very small number, at about 2% .
The youngest group provides three times more of the total than older group.
- Three times more of what?

However, middle age group still has the biggest percentage, approximately 20%.
- Please indicate the subject of the sentence.