IELTS: Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access

IELTS Writing Task 2:
Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime.

Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that the jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case.

Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer. At least 250 words.

THANKS FOR READING MY ESSAY: )
================================================================= ===================

Nowadays, crimes happen everywhere. Lawyers, today, make their decision without knowledge what is the past of the culprit, but some of them want this changed and have a chance to look at the criminal's past record before the court. I am disagree, because they can abuse with this and give an incorrect judgement.

Firstly, accessing to the data about the defendant's criminal record can cause different jury decision even if the crime is not so serious. For examle, if the jury look at the criminal's protocol and see that the culprit had robbed a bank before 5 years they can decide that the person should get more years in the jail.

Secondly, if the court see the culprit's record, they can make an easier and faster decision, which, of course, can be incorrect. For instance, giving more years in the prison, because the person had previous crimes can be unfair for the defendant.

Thirdly, if witnesses give strongly and unarguable evidence that the culprit is guilty, and the jury has an access to the defendant's information, which says that the guy is homeless or robber, they are capable to make wrong decision. Some of the witnesses give a wrong evidence that the criminal is dangerous because they were frightened. If they see the culprit trying to steal money from a guy on the street, does not mean that the person is aggressive. Maybe this guy is starving.

In conclusion, I absolutely disagree that lawyers should have an access to the defendant's record because they will make an incorrect decision and some criminals will get more years in jail, even if they do not deserve them.

I think the main meanings of both paras are the same. In each para you have to give different reasons and examples.

This is good, but shows complexity. It takes time to follow the logical order. Perhaps the commas you use are too much.

if witnesses give strongly and unarguable evidence that the culprit is guilty, and the jury has an access to the defendant's information, which says that the guy is homeless or robber, they are capable to make wrong decision.

Is this you mean?
During the trial, if witnesses are highly likely to incriminate the victim, they make false accusations.

Hope this helps :D

Thanks a lot Abdurasul and Eddy: )

Here you are presenting the background of the issue. However, it is not very well presented and I hope you pay more attention to its presentation.

Well, if you have a question that you don't like at all, then you can write with a 5-paragraph essay. You write one introduction, three bodies, and one conclusion. This can help you write more words, but some students, that I see, put grandiose ideas, by writing too many words. Uppsss.., remember, 40 minutes to finish your essay are a must :D

Look at what Dumi suggests you with the structure (a 4-paragraph essay). With this structure, you are easy to develop your paragraph properly. Also, this is good for coherence and cohesion between the sentence-to-paragraph-to-essay construction, and for which in the five-paragraph structure this is weak.

HiEddy ,
Thank you for helping me.
Could you please give me an advise for this issue:
When the question asks: 'To what extent do you agree with this statement?' is it correct my second and third paragraph to have only negative or only positive sides and in the end to say what is my opinion or I should present 1 paragraph for disadvantages and 1 paragraph for advantages? Thanks in advance.: )

Sorry, dear :(
I am not the one who is capable of answering your question. To make everything clear, here is a website link you can visit. Please read this discussion more closely:

ielts.org/PDF/Vol4_Report2.pdf
Hope this helps :D