CBEST Essay - Why I enter education field?

HI

I need help in my Cbest essay this August. Hope you could what are my strong/weak points in the essay. Thanks a lot,

ELAINEDLCRUZ

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What particular experience had the greatest impact on your decision to enter the education field? Explain why that particular experience was so important.

Teaching was in our family blood. My grandparents were principals, my aunts were college professors and my parents owned a small daycare business in our hometown. Choosing to teach children was a part of my childhood dreams. I enjoyed joining the kids in our daycare business during my summer breaks. Then came the era of computers, where my interest shifted from teaching into computer programming. I thought working as a programmer would be my lifelong career until I met Christopher, my nephew. He was a 2 year old diagnosed with cerebral palsy. His disability paved way for me to have a change of heart and to educate myself on how to handle special children.

It was summer of 2005, when I visited my sister in California. It was a vacation intended for me to get away from long hours of computer work. My sister needed extra hand to take care of Christopher. Most of the time, I would bring him to his doctor's appointment and therapy session. Dealing with doctors and therapist enabled me to understand his condition and limitation as a special child. While waiting for him during his therapies, I was able to see more special children waiting in line for their therapy. I even got an opportunity to befriend parents. Our friendship blossomed through sharing and discussion sentiments of having a child with disability. I felt the passion to be with them and to assist them in their struggles.

With the change of heart, I resigned from my work to equip myself on how to understand the world of a special child. My friend offered me to enroll in a masters degree for Special Education. Then came an offer to volunteer in a daycare for children with autism. I grab both opportunities as a volunteer worker in the afternoon and a student in the evening. As time pass by, I just felt more passionate to be with the children. Understanding their needs amidst their tantrums and loving them just like a normal being. It brings joy that I have never felt before. It felt like I was destined to be a teacher too just like my family.

My supposedly vacation from work as a programmer made a big impact in decision to enter the education field. It was a wonderful experience to get to know Christopher's unique world. Choosing teaching for me was a vocation. It was a priceless experience of my life.

Meh. Not bad, but a bit on the dull side. I can't picture Christopher, and you tell rather than show your change of heart. As near as I can tell, you had to spend your vacation taking him to various appointments and listening to him throw tantrums, and somehow this brought "joy that I had never felt before." That's nice -- just don't expect your description of the boy to send people flocking to volunteer to help with disabled kids. If you want to improve this essay, add a description of Christopher, and a narrative anecdote that lets us see how he really is "special" to you.

Hello,

I'm also getting ready to take the CBEST in August. I think you need to add your 3 main ideas in your first paragraph. You can also use more details.

Do you know some of the writing topics for the CBEST?

"Then came an opportunity to volunteer at a daycare program for children with autism. I grabbed both opportunities, working as a volunteer worker in the afternoon and a student in the evening. As time passed by, I wanted more passionately to be with the children."

Watch out for your verb tenses. Using the wrong verb tense is a major error that will cost you points on the essay.


You have got to stop asking that question in every thread. Look at the answers we have already provided numerous times. I will delete the next comment in which you ask this question.