IELTS; characteristics motivate to our goals and provoke to develop our self-identity

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.

It can be said, attitude of every person is an innate ability which deals with life. The issue of characteristics more than experience can motivate on our development and Individuality in life. A person whether he/she is good or bad, is assessed people by behaviour. However, in my own view, self-trails can't solely have a sense of influence on personality and development but must need experience in the way of life.

Identity is a kind of inner quality which puts on character a great familiarity. When we are born parents helps us to move and have food, similarly, we learn different activities that act in future life. Moreover , the progress in childhood makes us understanding everything around as a motivation on character. For example, children learn ancient history and their culture, which encourage them to conserve. Likewise, they like playing games, sport and integrate with different environment to experience various activities.

In addition, Some people agree with both the influence of charaterics and experiences. Self-individuality is a part of natural life even can recognize the self-esteem and self-honour. We can't live without the help of others , a good character assists to exchange everything with each other, for this reason, it is very important in life.

In conclusion, characteristics motivate to our goals and provoke to develop our self-identity. Experience to novelty keeps a good learning of knowledge.

Would you clearify the question type?
In IELTS exam, avoide the following things
1-can't -------------------------cannot
2-We can't live without the help of others----------------------------- One cannot live without the help of others
3- You should write at least 250 words so pay attention to the words limit.

You had better give us the question of this essay.


I think attitude is more like a state of mind than an innate ability.


This is grammatically incorrect.


People are often assessed by their manners.


Do you mean "traits"?


In my opinion, both characteristics and experiences play equally important roles in people's personality and growth.
I think you should revise your grammar as I can see many grammatical errors in your essay.
I hope this helps!

MisterWandering
It would be better if you correct/point out the place of my grammatical errors in the sentence

.... I feel you need to strengthen the connection between these two lines. They seem to be detached.


From our infancy to adolescence, the parents nurture us and guide our path.


.... this is not clear to me. What do you mean by this sentence?
Moreover , the progress in childhood makes us understanding everything

This is an incomplete sentence. You could change it a bit, for example: Some people believe that people's development and individuality are more influenced by characteristics.


You could start a new sentence from "Similarly".



integrate into
Is this a discussion essay? If so, you should discuss each view in each body paragraph. However, I feel that your first body paragraph is a bit off-topic as it focuses on how upbringing and education rather than characteristics influence individuals.


Individuality


This is not clear. I don't quite get your point here.


You could start a sentence from "A".


You need to clarify these points on your body paragraphs.
I hope this helps!

Thank you all very much

Friends, I am new member of your site, please help me with the essay. I think it can be put in this topic: "Two people you know" - comparison and contrast Paragraph But it's already too old. Please, check my essay...

Dima has completed 5 years of the University, just as Alex did before with around equal grade point.and their grade point averages are approximately equal . Dima is an engineer in automobile transport while Alex is a manager related with external activities .

May be from this time began all the differences between these guys? what do you mean here?
There is the main difference between the characters of guys that influenced my parent's opinion about them. main difference between two characters is that influenced the view of my parents .

Dima does not have enough ambitions to earn money//Dima isn't ambitious enough to earn money

you should connect between two sentences to strengthen. use more linking words

First, your essay needs lots of improvement with its structure. It is not clear what your introducton, body paragraphs and conclusion are. Separate these paragraphas and present a clear and neat essay. Also, post your IELTS essays into Writing Feedback forum.


@Alyalya - you should open a fresh thread for your essay. Then we can provide you with our feedbacks. Posting essays I other's threads is against forum rules.

Great essay in general. Grammarwise, the other comments already say what I'm thinking

@pijiuwdw - You are supposedcto provide meaningful comments on others threads to stay active in yhis forum. Otherwise you'll be suspended. So, do not copy the same comment on all threads and next time you would be suspended.