Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTs---competition is much more importance than cooperation in school. do you agree?



Kjerry 4 / 7  
Jun 24, 2013   #1
topic:

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children should be taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults

It is quite interesting that some people hold the point of view about sense of competition should be advocated in school. others support that children ought to be taught how to cooperate with one another.

It is not difficult to image the sense of competition plays a significant role in educating children on the account of it greatly improved children's individual abilities on understanding and ability to do it himself or herself, not reliable to others. For example, In many countries schools always rank students exam score and separate the good and bad. However, experts explained that the world is full of competition and competition makes us better and better, especially on children, they are our next generation, competition will make them better to adapt our world.

However, other people think cooperation is much more useful than competition. This is because they believe the sense of competition is do it alone in teaching children. And they also believed cooperation can better adopt our community owing to every person lives in a group, they rely on each other therefore children should be emphasis importance of cooperation and the skill of it. In my point of view, there is not improvement on personal ability without competition and there is no efficiency to finish a job without cooperation.

In concluded, competition and cooperation both should be advocated in educating children. The purpose of it is to develop their skills and abilities to become more useful adults

MisterWandering 18 / 314  
Jun 24, 2013   #2
on the account of

-> on the grounds that

not reliable to others

-> not reliant on others. Reliable means trustworthy.

This is because they believe the sense of competition is do it alone in teaching children

-> What do you mean by "do it alone in teaching children"? I'm quite confused.

experts explained

,

they also believed

I think you should use present tense rather than past tense in these cases.

In concluded

-> In conclusion/To conclude

competition and cooperation both

-> both competition and cooperation


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTs---competition is much more importance than cooperation in school. do you agree?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳