[IELTS] Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor.

The poverty problem - reasons and solutions

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor.
What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped?
Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no doubt that every nation has needy people and they are dealt with different way as per the economies. In this essay, I will discuss the main factors that contribute to the poverty among people and necessary measures that can help plummet poverty.

Out of all the factors that lead to poverty the most important is lack of education. This is because, education is the fundamental part of human's growth and the individuals who doesn't get it have no means to find a skilled job or start any business to pull them out of their circumstances. For Instance, recent survey done by United Nations stated that 90% of people that are victim of hunger and poverty never have had access to any college or school. Furthermore, increasing corruption in the political system of certain countries has made it difficult for the government supports and subsidies, such as minimum wages for unemployment, to reach the people who cannot afford to make the ends meet. As a result, they are stuck in the hunger cycle.

In my view, providing free education is the best possible solution to stop the next generation from being exposed to poverty. The reason for this is, education arms the individuals with options and choices to built the better future. As per global poverty scale, the rate of growth of poverty in germany declined by half in 5 years after education was made free for everyone. Additionally, subsidy or daily stipends can be offered to poverty-striken people, if they choose to persue higher education. This will, as a result, help them to support their families while continuing education.

To repatulate, while illiteracy and corruption in the system are biggest reasons leading to poverty, I believe that providing free education can help a lot to control and eventually, vanish it.

The essay is very good content wise. Even with grammar problems, your justifications, reasons, and explanations, are very good. That is exactly where the problem of this essay lies and why you will not be able to write an essay like this during the actual test. You used researched reasons and solutions. The researched information are as follows:

- recent survey done by United Nations stated that 90% of people ...
- As per global poverty scale...

The information for the essay clearly indicates: ... include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

That means, you cannot refer to research, studies, and other sources within the essay. You have to use the information that you know to defend your reasons. If you use a pencil test, you won't have access to a computer at the testing center. If you use the CBT, the computer will be in LAN mode, which means no outside internet access, no research. This is actually the main problem with your paper, you need to practice using testing facility settings. That means, do not research the information when writing your essay. Instead, use only what little or a lot of the personal knowledge and understanding that you have.

You have to prove that you are updated with current events and news when writing this essay. That is why they made it clear that you need to use personal knowledge in writing it. Researched information means you are not well read and could struggle as a student in a foreign country as you might have difficulty in keeping up with the classes you will be enrolled in.

@Holt
Thank you Mr. Holt for the feedback.
I have read on number of sources on the internet regarding IELTS essays, they mention that you can make up your own research, examiner just want to know if you can logically present it, and facts need not to be correct, but logically sensible. I made up all this and wrote under 40 mins.

You are right. You can make up the information. However, you cannot use secondary sources as the reference based upon the discussion instructions: Make up the information using first and second person pronouns. The instruction indicates;

"Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience."

The keywords being " your own." No research references. Pronoun usage is needed for GRA scoring considerations. There is a big difference between making up information, which is allowed, and referring to research information. The proper presentation format for the information should have been:

I It is common knowledge in my country that up to 60 percent of Vietnamese are...

This refers to your own knowledge and experience. This is opposite to presenting a semblance of researched information:

- recent survey done by United Nations stated that 90% of people ...
- As per global poverty scale...

You are not referring to your own knowledge and experience when you refer to second hand information in the essay. You did not follow the discussion instructions, you will lose points because of it. I am sure you can see the difference, based upon the clear instruction from the original prompt.

@Holt
Very well explained! and have noted the same.
Thank you so much for enlightening me, this means a lot!
Keep up the great work!