Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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Hi everyone, I have joined the IELTS test and I got 6.5 twice. I want to get 7 or higher.
Would you tell me the approximate band of my essay and the problems with it.
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At present ,public debate has been going on over whether the cultivation of the sense of competition, or ,the encourage ment of collaboration is the priority of our education. In this essay, I will discuss both sides regarding this debate.
I would agree that the environment full of competition is indeed beneficial for the development of our children. To begin with, children will make greater efforts to get higher rank at school if they are motivated to compete against their peers. Then, they will strive to achieve better performance,such as winning awards, and through this, they will make better use of their talent for they can fulfill their potential. Then, once they make progress during competition ,they will, obviously, gain self-esteem, as they know they can achieve their objectives by trying harder. Gradually, they will grasp the courage to pursue their dreams, not only at schools,but in their workplaces as well.
Still, I have to point out the merits that cooperation could bring to our children. In the first place, they can nurture teamwork spirit through their collaboration. When they cooperation with each other ,they can learn the core value of cooperation, which is they can compensate their capacities. Apparently, teamwork spirit is vital for their future career for the fundamental reason that the majority of people will finally work in groups ,such as ,commercial operations ,educational institutions. In the second place, collaboration with each other substantially improves their psychological health ,especially in modern society ,with accelerating pace of living. With the help if face to face interaction with their classmates at schools ,it helps them establish valuable friendship, which effectively relieves the pressure and tension caused by competition. In this way, they can enjoy better mental healthy, thus they can become a more successful member of our society because mental healthy is an indispensable part of our happiness.
Having considered the respective benefits of them, I believe both of them are essential for our children's future,as they cannot superseed each other. I firmly believe ,therefore, we should create proper environment ,which would help them foster the sense of competition and cooperation.
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Any advice would be appreciated , and thanks for your great help :)
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Hi everyone, I have joined the IELTS test and I got 6.5 twice. I want to get 7 or higher.
Would you tell me the approximate band of my essay and the problems with it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At present ,public debate has been going on over whether the cultivation of the sense of competition, or ,the encourage ment of collaboration is the priority of our education. In this essay, I will discuss both sides regarding this debate.
I would agree that the environment full of competition is indeed beneficial for the development of our children. To begin with, children will make greater efforts to get higher rank at school if they are motivated to compete against their peers. Then, they will strive to achieve better performance,such as winning awards, and through this, they will make better use of their talent for they can fulfill their potential. Then, once they make progress during competition ,they will, obviously, gain self-esteem, as they know they can achieve their objectives by trying harder. Gradually, they will grasp the courage to pursue their dreams, not only at schools,but in their workplaces as well.
Still, I have to point out the merits that cooperation could bring to our children. In the first place, they can nurture teamwork spirit through their collaboration. When they cooperation with each other ,they can learn the core value of cooperation, which is they can compensate their capacities. Apparently, teamwork spirit is vital for their future career for the fundamental reason that the majority of people will finally work in groups ,such as ,commercial operations ,educational institutions. In the second place, collaboration with each other substantially improves their psychological health ,especially in modern society ,with accelerating pace of living. With the help if face to face interaction with their classmates at schools ,it helps them establish valuable friendship, which effectively relieves the pressure and tension caused by competition. In this way, they can enjoy better mental healthy, thus they can become a more successful member of our society because mental healthy is an indispensable part of our happiness.
Having considered the respective benefits of them, I believe both of them are essential for our children's future,as they cannot superseed each other. I firmly believe ,therefore, we should create proper environment ,which would help them foster the sense of competition and cooperation.
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Any advice would be appreciated , and thanks for your great help :)
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