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Task 2. Crime and Punishment. IELTS



Karlito 2 / 2  
Feb 13, 2014   #1
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Other, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


While some people are of the opinion that it should be established punishments for different kind of crime, others believe that this depends on circumstances and should regard on the verdict. This essay will examine both sides of the issue.

In ancient times, many people often subjected to penalty almost every crime. But nowadays, there are many rules and violated one of them incur the appropriate punishment. It is well-known fact that the crime have two types: intentional and forcibly. However, they share one thing that they have committed one action ,respectively. As people say 'an eye for an eye'.

But on the other hand, circumstances for crimes should always be included because it is conceivable that this man was tortured by law offender and was forced to do it by force. Doubtless, each individual has their weaknesses, when pressure is applied to them, they will do everything.

One should, nevertheless, consider the problem from another angle. If the person committed the murder under forced circumstances it will not be convicted. Some people began to doubt in law enforcement for what they do not condemn man who did this action.

One argument in support , sometimes a person may be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

In my opinion, government should introduce critical thinking lesson in the education system. For instance, - What have choices when his temple gun? - Obey or you will be killed! - Wrong. Collect gun or take out another or say that it was a bluff. Multivariance thinking.

In conclusion, when it comes to crime is always taken into account the circumstances. The force of the law will provide the minimal criminal in every community. However, an individual crime such as the defense of oneself or another will be exempted from punishment.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 13, 2014   #2
You write pretty well. However, I feel you need to have a deeper understanding about the essay structure that helps you earn a good score while managing time effectively since this task has a major bearing on time.
aldebaran 8 / 16  
Feb 13, 2014   #3
hi,
I would change this "While some people are of the opinion" to this: While some people argue that ...
"But on the other hand..." to this: On the other hand

Cheers
sandipsinh 37 / 88  
Feb 13, 2014   #4
they have committed an void action.
or can put conducted unlawful action.
SHanafi 120 / 357  
Feb 16, 2014   #5
to penalty

to + v1

hat the crime havehas two

and was forced to do it by force

need subject

One should, nevertheless, consider the problem from another angle.

no verb

If the person committed the murder under forced circumstances...

no verb
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 16, 2014   #6
Hellooo...,

Take a closer look at the prompt.

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Other, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Topic: Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.
Opinion: Other, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Task: Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

This the structure you should deal with. Moreover, you are asked to write regarding the three components above.
If you miss one of them, then your point on Task Response may be cut.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Feb 16, 2014   #7
I can see others have provide you with very good comments. Pay attention to your essay structure and alignment of your writing with your prompt (that is what dumi and eddies have stressed in their comments). I thought of telling about the time factor as this you need to complete in roughly 25 mins, isn't it so? So, do not unnecessarily lengthen it :( Four or Five para essay would be fine for this task, but make sure you follow dumi' structure.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 17, 2014   #8
In ancient times, many people were often subjected to penalty almost every crime.sever punishments every time they committed a crime.

But nowadays, there are many rules and violated one of them incur the appropriate punishment.

.... This is a pretty confusing sentence. Your idea is not conveyed properly :(

Doubtless, each individual has their weaknesses, when pressure is applied to them, they will do everything.

... what will they do? You need to specify that to the reader.
Follow the structure I gave above and re-do this essay and post it here. I'll check it for you again :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 21, 2014   #9
For me, you write well enough. Also, if you could, you might construct your conclusion with this structure:

The Concluding Paragraph has three parts:
1. a 'conclusion' signal: In conclusion, ....etc,
2. a summary of the main points or a restatement of the thesis (in different words!)
3. a final comment, based on the information in the essay.
The final comment can be:
a warning or prediction (often using the first conditional: If ..., ... will ...)
a suggestion or recommendation (often using should or must)


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