IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - DESCRIBING THE DATA FROM TABLE

traffic on three suburban roads

Hi guys, I decided to post my essay in writing task 1 and hopefully to get some useful advices from you. Please feel free to read and help me check when necessary.

The table below shows the results of a survey of the average number of cars per hour using three suburban roads during working hours in a ten-year pollution monitoring programme. Traffic calming was introduced in Harper Lane at the beginning of 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the data below.

The table illustrates the report about the average quantity of vehicles per hour driving on three residential areas during weekdays in a monitoring programme from 1993 to 2002.

Overall, there was an upward trend in the number of cars passing through three given roads, but Harper Lane was the least polluted route.

Between 1993 and 1998, Harper Lane witnessed a ninefold climb from just around an average of 100 cars per hour to roughly 900. Interestingly, this figure from Harper Lane in 1998 was the highest, compared to two other lanes. However, there was a slight fluctuation in Great York Way, increasing from an hourly rate 600 vehicles to nearly 700. Also, the traffic travelling down Long Lane oscillated dramatically and went up by exactly three quarters in 1998, from 400 to 700 cars.

By the early 1999, the volume of traffic in Harper Lane declined sharply to an accuracy of 204 cars per hour due to the traffic calming measure, considerably fewer than last year. Thereafter, the number of cars driving through Harper Lane remained stable at just under 200. In contrast, since this measure wasn't implemented on other roads, the amount of traffic continued to rise until staying constant at the end of the period with an hourly average of 900 cars for Great York Way and 1400 cars for Long Lane.

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@Wendynguyen803
I think you should wirie your overview in another way because Overall, there was an upward trend in... may has unparralleled structure :D

Cuz upward trend and ..least pulluted are not really the same type. I think you shoul make the original one become other 2 independent sentences.

Regard

Thang

@Wendynguyen803
Hi there!

Let me try to provide a substantial feedback for your essay.

First and foremost, I think that the structure and organization of your analysis is already clear-cut and well-done. Most of my suggestions would therefore be accommodating to optimizing your essay. Taking into account that this is an interpretation-heavy content, it would be better if you can focus primarily on elaborating your thoughts with much distinction and grace. Doing so would definitely help you maintain a more in-depth format for your writing style to function more efficiently.

For instance, observe the revisions I will make here:

... hour to roughly 900. Interestingly, t This figure ... the highest, compared to two other lanes others. ... from an hourly rate 600 ... Also, t The traffic ...

I think that, in general, your writing style is already quite put-together because there's sufficient complexity in your utterances. I would only wish that you trim down the excessive fillers, focusing more on the general substance of the text.

Best of luck as always!