IELTS Task 1 : Different age group work in economical sector

Helo friend. Honestly I have weaknesses in observing trend in task one, especially when the task serve table and require me to make comparisons. I have problem to add number, then making comparison and also which part of the trend I should mention.Another problem is lack of vocabularies, make me often do redundancy. My exam date nearer and i still have no confident in writing. Here I try to do.

The table below shows the in which sector of the economy different age groups were employed.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant
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The table compares the numbers of people in the three age groups which are employed in the particular sector of economy.

Overall, the number of people who work in each sector varied markedly, while the overall age groups show similar number of worker in law sector.

As per information, while health sector employed huge number of worker, the manufacturing sector stance as the highest numbers of economical sector employing the workforce. Next, under ten people, in each age group, work in the agriculture and catering sector, the least of people working in accountancy also shows the resemblance number. Retail and the other mentioned sector are likely to hire more young people than that of the older, while education and local government paid more mature people to work on their field.

A closer looked at the overall age group, while the variation employer in number working in the each sector, at least twelve people in the same group work in the two different sectors. In the 16-25 age groups such number shows in the manufacturing and health sector. Then, the twelve for middle age, under review, work in the local government and education also the twelve oldest workers are hired in the education and health sector.

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  economy_sector_tabl.png
  

i don't understand what you mean in your explanation.

The table comparespresents the numbersnumber of people in the three age groups whichwho are employed in the particular sectordifferent sectors of economy.


This is not a very good overview. It does not give much important information for us. I just suggested the following lines for the overview for the same task in a different thread :D

Overall, the majority of people works in the manufacturing sector and accounting industry records the least level of employment. The retail sector has generated the highest number of employment opportunities for the young people while the manufacturing sector has got the highest involvement of senior employees.

Dear, dumi


I always read every comment you given to me. But I need plenty of time to understand it. Unfortunately, when I face the table, graph or map the advices lost :(

Well, if you read our advice carefully, I mean mine, Pahan's, eddie's and other contributors, you get just one clear message. That is to understand the appropriate approach for the task (I think you do understand this substantially ) and then present your ideas clearly to the reader. Your problem that I see is you give too much priority to present your vocabulary knowledge and that get you to make lots of errors in your sentences. Try to think simple and present your ideas in a simple tone. As you progress, you naturally improve with your vocabulary too.

Dumi is right.
When we come to your writing, and this too works for others, we read it very carefully. We share what we understand.
I personally hope you do that vice versa; Come to our feedbacks and read them very carefully with your own volition. As a result, you will get one clear point: How to deal with the useful approach for the task.

I see, dumi.


Here also my problem, in my head there are many words that I want to write it down, as result I confused which one that i want to write. Also, the grammar rules in the application of writing make me crazy T.T


, I will, eddies.

When you have several words to choose between, choose the one that you are mostly confident, no matter how simple it is. I notice you have kept improving with your writing in terms of clarity although you still have not achieved consistency :D Keep writing and we would give you the fullest support with our advice for you to get your desired score. Our comments sometimes may sound a bit annoying, but take them with positive spirit as our goal is to help you get a good results at the exam :)

By the way, about the various comment that all of you given, it is coloring me. hehehhe, Thank you for supporting me, I hope someday as my writing become better I can help other people as you all.