Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 8


Disadventages of the Internet ; 45 minute Essay



phuonglinh98f 1 / -  
Mar 26, 2013   #1
Hi everybody:) i have been learning english and i'm going to do an important examination which ask people to write essays for 45 minutes. I hope you can help me with the essay :x

The Internet has an important part in modern life. However, it has a lot of disadvantages. Firstly, it has a lot of viruses and bad programs. Internet users have to suffer various risks such as spam or personal information leaking. Secondly, the Internet sometimes give false information. Thirdly, it is very addictive and often causes headache, near sightedness and so on. There are many children addicting to games on the internet. Some people are lazy to read books because of internet. Therefore, wwhen using the internet, be alert!

chessman567 5 / 168  
Mar 26, 2013   #2
Okay, you need a lot of help if you want to pass toefl or your exam. That is a paragraph, not an essay. Read some of the other toefl essays to get the structure down because you need a lot of help. First read their essays, which are at least three paragraphs. Also, I can see you say first, second, third. Put more supporting detail after that.
Xiaokai Jin 11 / 19  
Mar 28, 2013   #3
I see you've already made your key point clear, which is good. If you can develop more details after each of your key point, that would be better. Try to use more academic words and long sentences, because if you want to get a good score on your exam, you should write at least three paragraphs. Just try to read more essays here and keep practising. You will be great!
nutybieber 1 / 4  
Mar 28, 2013   #4
you just wrote good points and this is only one other point which came from my mind haha it harm the eyes :) its really bad for the health
Annateee 2 / 11  
Mar 28, 2013   #5
Maybe you can try to write longer. Because an essay needs Introduction, Body Paragraphs and a conclusion. You have your point of view but you need to elaborate more it will helps you to get a high score. :)
CherryPac18 10 / 28  
Mar 28, 2013   #6
This is too short if you have to write for 45 minutes. I also do not think it is captivating or persuasive enough. I think you should add more to it.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 30, 2013   #7
The Internet has an important part in modern life.

The Internet is an integral part of the lives of modern people.

However, it has a lot of disadvantages.

However, it has many disadvantages too.

Firstly, it has a lot of viruses and bad programs.

.... Well, I think there are many more threats that Internet can have on human society such as addiction, promoting pornography, distancing physical human interactions etc.
shanzyfjwu - / 1  
Mar 30, 2013   #8
Assalam o alakum to every one,hope so you r enjoying good health...
well this is long debating topic it affected every field of life especially student life thay totally depend on this tehnology to prepare thier projects ,assignments and presentations and do plagiarism which is uneathical activity.


Home / Writing Feedback / Disadventages of the Internet ; 45 minute Essay
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳