GRE; Educational inst are responsible for guiding students in their study fields

Topic:Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.Write a response.Please help this is my first essay i want to improve.

A students takes admission in a college in order to discover his/her abilities and the educational institutions should take the sole responsibility of helping students in choose the right choice of subjects so that they can visualize a better future.The experienced faculties and managements who are well acknowledged about the growing trends of technology should guide students through means of presentations ,seminars and face to face interaction with techies of a certain field.Enforcing the students to study a prescribed field of study will make the lose interest and ultimately they finally get bemused and it then becomes a tough call for them to see a bright future.Dark minds are enlightened only with the help of a good guidance and educational institution should see that each and every student should be able to discover their talents and choose a subject of their choice in which they are finally interested in. If students are allowed to choose subjects of their choice the rate of employment in our country would increase by a remarkable number and each of the student will do something that would bring laurels and pride to the college.

A students student takes admission in a college in order to discover and nurture his/her abilities and the educational institutions should take the sole responsibility of helping students in choose choosing the right choice of subjects so that they can visualize a better future (Modify this line...what do you mean by they here? It can precedent to either schools or students. Be clear while using pronouns).The experienced faculties and managements (managements do not make sense here) who are well acknowledged about the growing trends of technology should guide students through means of presentations ,seminars and face to face interaction with techies (Refrain from using unofficial words like this) of a certain field.Enforcing the students to study a prescribed field of study will make the lose interest (will make the students lose interest) and ultimately they finally get bemused and it then becomes a tough call for them to see a bright future.Dark minds are enlightened only with the help of a good guidance and educational institution should see that each and every student should be able to discover their talents and choose a subject of their choice in which they are finally interested in. If students are allowed to choose subjects of their choice the rate of employment in our country would increase by a remarkable number and each of the student will do something that would bring laurels and pride to the college.

#Avoid large sentences and break them.
#Be careful with pronouns
#Use proper punctuations.

The experienced faculties and managements who are well acknowledged aboutaware of the growing trends of technology should guide students through means of presentations ,seminars and face to face interactions with techies ofexperts ina certain field.particular fields

Is this essay for GRE? You better mention the purpose in the topic so that we can provide you with more task relevant feedbacks.


... This is good advice. I too agree :)

Hi DUMI this essay is for GRE only,perhaps my first essay after a long time . Please give me some more suggestions so that i can improve well before i write in my second essay.

Thanks in advance :)
I wrote it with a time constraint so this might be one of the reason i overlooked on punctuations
Please help

sure.... I will... is this just a part of your essay or the full one? I guess this is a GRE Issue essay, Isn't it?

If so, have a look at this caption I took from a website;
The GRE Issue essay is similar to any 5-paragraph short essay you've written in college. You may opt for 4-6 paragraphs, but this structure plans for 5. The official GRE website states that readers of the Issue essay "are evaluating the skill with which you...articulate and develop an argument to support your evaluation of the issue." The better organized your essay, the clearer it will become to the reader. Here's how to structure each paragraph:


that's ok... Most important thing is that you cover all essential features within that time :)

Thanks a lot for the help dumi... Yes this is not the complete essay.. I will write another essay on a different issue, keeping in mind the guidelines which you have provided me with. :)