Can you evaluate this essay about 'What Causes Video Game Addiction'?

gamers are under influence of virtuality

Did you know that the Video Game Industry makes billions of dollars annually? The fact that this industry makes this amount of money every year shows that people get addicted increasingly. Today, worldwide, hundreds of millions of people play video games. They spend hours and hours without getting bored, and they spend a lot of money as well. The question is: why? There are two main causes of video game addiction: profound pleasure and escape from the real world.

First, most gamers play video games in order to gain intense pleasure. When playing video games, especially the latest ones, one feels massive pleasure because of the unbelievable quality of the games. gamers play for long hours and they neither feel bored nor tired. With that in mind, while playing video games, most people feel excluded from the world around them, which is a positive thing because you do not get to hear people nonsense around you. Besides, gamers get sensational feelings from winning, whereas when they lost, they get anxious and angry, which makes them play for other hours to compensate these feelings.

Second, lots of gamers play video games so that they can escape reality. When you are playing video games, the rest of the world disappears because you are intensely into the games. Moreover, feeling depressed and tired from life, gamers find video games the best from those sensations. In fact, many of them acknowledge the fact that it helped them overcome depression. Furthermore, it not only helps them forget the everyday problems, but it also enhances their moods to the better. Although this might seem a positive solution in the short run, it will have negative effects eventually, which all gamers must know.

To conclude, video games have a couple main causes, which can have negative and positive outcomes simultaneously. Most gamers know that they are addicted, but they do not acknowledge it, which is quite a problem. Getting more money annually, the video game industry will keep improving and producing games, which is something that gamers have to find a solution to so that they can decrease their addiction. Otherwise, they will get nowhere in their lives if they keep wasting too much time playing them.

James, this essay is based upon unfounded assumptions. As an informative essay, it does provide information that relates to your chosen topic. The problem, is that the information lacks warranted examples and factual sources of information. There is a need for you to better develop the presentation based on facts. For example, when you say that video game companies make billions of dollars a year, you need to provide proof of that through the presentation of various game sales based on the hot titles of the year. That way, you prove your assumption in the essay. Now, when you say that video game players use this as a form of escapism, you need to cite professional sources to support that claim. Remember, an essay that provides information without sources, is a faulty essay. It is not capable of defending itself because of empty claims and lack of sources. If you want to make this essay stronger, cite professional and academic sources throughout the presentation. That is, provided that this is an essay for a formal English writing class and not just a practice essay for language development. If you are just using this essay topic for language development, then you did a pretty good job of presenting your case. It is convincing in a basic manner but not fully acceptable as an academic paper.